One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
It’s weird, when you’re a child you’re always calling your mother when you fall down or get hurt. Then when you’re an adult you stop calling your mother and now she’s the one who gets hurt. La Dia de las Madres is upon us once again and it’s a time for reflection, it’s a time […]
Read More Masturbating on Mother’s DayI’m not going to bullshit you, I’ve been going through some rough times. As some of you know I had my accounts taken from my by my step-uncle Horatio for violating his “terms of the living space.” Fortunately he decided to take mercy on me and relinquish control back to me. If you’re still around […]
Read More The Journey Begins Again…Dear McFartnuggets: Have you ever noticed that lightning looks the same exact way veins and tree branches do? I was smoking that dank last night and it hit me that if you see lightning it looks just like my grandmother’s leg. It’s all blue and each line branches out just like a tree branch or […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Does Lightning Look Like Human Veins and Tree Branches?”The ancient Greek philosopher Socrates was quoted as saying “I know one thing: that I know nothing.” This is known as a Socratic paradox, but it’s really just nonsense. If you know nothing then you can’t be aware of that because that would mean you know something. First of all, everyone knows something. That’s the […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “I Know One Thing: That I Know Nothing”Dear McFartnuggets: This past Halloween was really great, the whole family had a lot of fun. There was only one negative spot. We heard the doorbell ring at around 8 PM and I grabbed the bowl of candy to greet the trick or treaters. Instead of a group of little kids dressed like Ninja Turtles, […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Are You Supposed To Handle A Grown Adult Trick or Treater?”There’s a song called “Ghost Town” where the singer Adam Lambert says “My heart is a ghost town.” What is that supposed to mean? A ghost town is an abandoned town where no one lives. A heart is the primary muscle responsible for blood circulation in your body. I don’t know why someone would sing […]
Read More Dumbass Song Lyrics: “My Heart is a Ghost Town”When you go to your high school reunion and you run into the teacher you used to sleep with they always say “That was 20 years ago! Can we just let bygones be bygones?” I find that phrase to be a little strange. “Let bygones be bygones”? Sure I’d very much be willing to do […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Let Bygones Be Bygones”Dear McFartnuggets: There has been a huge controversy over cloud storage ever since all those celebrity nude photos were hacked and released to the public. What I’m asking is why would anyone ever keep nude photos of themselves in the virtual cloud? Why not just send them to who you’re going to send them to […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do People Store Nudes in the Cloud?”When some guys at work are telling you about how they ran a train on a semi-conscious hooker the other night they usually say “You had to be there, man!” Really? I had to be there? Well if that’s the case then why even bring it up? Because I couldn’t have been there. It already […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “You Had To Be There”Dear McFartnuggets: I hear they’re coming out with smart mirrors now. Why would anyone want that? Why would anyone want an intelligent mirror? Could you imagine looking into one of those and hearing the mirror’s voice going “Uhh… I wouldn’t go outside looking like that if I were you!” or “Is that really what you’re […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Would Anyone Want a Smart Mirror?”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 