Dumbass Sayings: “It Was Their Time”

When someone dies the friend and loved ones always say something like “It was their time. God decided he couldn’t wait any longer to have them with him in his kingdom of Heaven!” That’s a nice sentiment, but I’m not sure that’s how it works. In the grand scheme of eternity I doubt God is […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “What is Phone Book?”

Dear McFartnuggets: I heard this word “phone book” the other day and I could swear I’ve heard about that before. Is that like a social media website for smartphones to connect to each other or something? What is PhoneBook? — Madeline from Orlando, Florida Dear Madeline: No, it’s not a social media network for phones… […]

Dumbass Sayings: “He Died Doing What He Loved”

When you hear about someone who died being eaten by a bear his family will say something like “He was camping in the outdoors. He died doing what he loved.” No, he died doing what he hated, being eaten by a fucking bear! No one dies doing what they love. We all die doing what […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “Why is the Universe Flat?”

Dear McFartnuggets: Today I learned that the universe is flat. What I wanna know is how can that be? We know the Big Bang happened and that exploded everywhere so how could that create something that’s flat? Why is the universe flat? — Diego from San Juan, Puerto Rico Dear Diego: WHOA, slow down Diego. […]

Dumbass Sayings: “I Don’t See Color”

When someone accuses Janice at work of being racist towards the new intern she says “I’m NOT racist! I don’t even see color!” Okay, first of all If you don’t see color then you only see Black and White which would still make being racist very possible if not even more so than if you […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “When it Rains at a Funeral is That Heaven Crying?”

Dear McFartnuggets: My great uncle died and when we went to his funeral it was very cloudy and pouring rain. Mama said it was the heavens and all the angels crying for him. Is that true? — Nicolette from Birmingham, Alabama Dear Nicolette: That would be nice to think, but the implications are difficult to […]

Dumbass Sayings: “You Can’t Cut The Mustard”

When your boss brings you into his office to have a private chat he says “You’re just not cutting the mustard here. We’re going to have to let you go.” What the hell is that supposed to mean? I’m not cutting the mustard? Okay first of all, no one can cut mustard. That’s like saying […]

The Top 5 Outdated Sayings That Won’t Make Sense in the Future

One of the nice things about famous sayings is that a lot of them are old fashioned. Many sayings harken back to a simpler time and in doing so, are completely anachronistic. In fact, most popular sayings involve some sort of anachronism that’s completely archaic to modern times. Here are the top 5 sayings that […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “Should Women Get More Credit For Wearing High Heels?”

Dear McFartnuggets: On a dare from my wife I wore high heels all day long. She wanted to make me see what women go through and I have to say, it was a very eye opening experience. You really don’t understand what someone is going through unless you walk a mile in their shoes and women’s […]

Dumbass Sayings: “Crying Like a Baby”

When you go to Best Buy and they’re sold out of the specific Blu Ray player you wanted sometimes you feel tears welling up at the inside corners of your eyes. Your lip begins to quiver and you get the overwhelming urge to start screaming. As you’re blowing the liquefied mucus out of your nose, […]

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