One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Dear McFartnuggets: I made a joke about Bill Cosby at work the other day and a coworker in another cubicle came up to me and my friend and said “Rape jokes aren’t funny! If I hear anything again I’m going to file a goddamn complaint!” This hasn’t been the first time someone has gotten mad […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do People Get So Offended By Jokes?”Dear McFartnuggets: People are always telling me catcalling women is wrong to do, but also I hear stories all the time of women who have low self image and think they’re ugly when they’re really beautiful so why is giving women compliments on the street such a sexist and bad thing to do? I’m not […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is it Wrong to Catcall Women?”Sometimes you hear people say shit like “Sorry if I argue a lot, I have a strong personality!” Saying “I have a strong personality” is basically just a creative way of saying “I’m kind of an asshole.” It’s like how you might say someone has a “strong odor” instead of blatantly announcing that they smell […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “I Have A Strong Personality”If you could choose to be any other type of animal besides a human, most people would want to be dinosaur, chimp, or dolphin, but dogs should definitely be higher on that list. In addition to being man’s best friend, dogs also have a lot of advantages that humans simply don’t. Here are the top […]
Read More The Top 5 Things Dogs Get Away With That Humans Can’tSometimes people meet a person they met on Craigslist and say things like “Now I might just be nitpicking here, but you have a penis…” I don’t get why people have to apologize for “nitpicking.” Nitpicking is supposed to infer an unnecessary, extra cautious act, but it’s really not. If you’re covered in nits then […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Nitpicking”Dear McFartnuggets: Hey I just got a new bank account and I wanted to pick a good PIN number that no one would be able to hack. I didn’t want to pick something stupid like 1234 or 1111 or 6969 so I mixed it up a little. I chose to make it 1492, is that […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Good is My Bank PIN Number?”Sometimes right before a job interview you still don’t know whether to dress in a full suit or something business casual. While you’re trying to decide what would be most appropriate given the company and the job you’re up for, you remember those wise words “When in doubt, rub one out.” Well that’s horrible advice […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “When in Doubt, Rub One Out”Dear McFartnuggets: Let’s say you’re banging the night away with a lady and you realize the condom breaks and are too drunk to stop and you accidentally ejaculate. You find out that the lady doesn’t have any other forms of prophylactics like a diaphragm or birth control pill in her system. The only alternative now […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Should You Go With The Woman To Get The Morning After Pill?”Dear McFartnuggets: I got a big ol’ fat stinky pussy problem right now. This thing is all inflamed and discolored, the skin is bright red and a little purple. I’ve got like a greenish yellow cream coming out of this pussy mess. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with it. I’ve been spraying […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “I Have a Big Ol’ Fat Stinky Pussy Problem!”Sometimes when you’re at your child’s soccer game, a bad call is made and one of the parents runs on the field and starts beating the everloving shit out of the referee. The rest of the parents pull the attacker off and do their best to restrain her. While others are consoling the children, you […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “ My Emotions Got The Better of Me”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 