One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Sometimes when you’re playing a pickup game of basketball at the local b-ball court, one of the opposing players slam dunks on top of you and everyone goes “OHHHHHHHHHHH SNAAAAPPP!” The guy starts celebrating and dancing while everyone laughs. Then as you grab your things to leave a random guy shouts “Yo ass got posterized! […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Posterize”Dear McFartnuggets: I was getting a routine colonoscopy done a couple days ago and while I was having the rod inserted up my ass I distinctly remember not feeling good about the whole procedure. I said “Stop… Stop….” I might have been mumbling a little since I was under anesthesia. I don’t fully remember what […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “If You Ask the Doctor to Stop During a Colonoscopy and He Doesn’t is That Assault?”Sometimes you see a hipster type something like “Hope. The most addicting drug of all” on a sheet of paper with a typewriter from the 19th century. This may seem like a nice little poetic phrase, but it’s absurdly incorrect. First of all, hope is not a drug. If hope was a drug then I […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Hope is The Most Addicting Drug of All”Dear McFatnuggets: In the song “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” is the Santa Claus that the mommy is kissing really the daddy dressed up like Santa or is it actually the real Santa and the mommy is being naughty and violating the sacred bond of marriage? — Stephanie from New Orleans, Louisiana Dear Stephanie: […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “In the Song ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ Was Santa Claus The Dad?”The 1953 song “Santa Baby” was originally sung by Eartha Kitt and was meant to be song where a homewrecking woman sings all seductively to Santa Claus. For some reason, in 2011, the male singer Michael Buble covered this song for his Christmas album. In his version he altered many of the lyrics to keep […]
Read More Dumbass Christmas Song Lyrics: “Santa Buddy”Dear McFartnuggets: How is mistletoe legal? You just hold up a plant over someone’s head and they’re forced to kiss you? What kind of sick bastard invented this? I was at a Christmas party the other night and I had to kiss 5 guys I really didn’t want to. I would never have kissed them, […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How is Mistletoe Legal?”“Run Run Rudolph” was a song released in 1958 by Chuck Berry and written by Johnny Marks and Marvin Brodie. It’s a Christmas classic, but contains arguably some of the most ridiculous and puzzling lyrics in a holiday song. First the song starts with the line “Out of all the reindeers you know you’re the […]
Read More Dumbass Song Lyrics: “Run Run Rudolph”Dear McFartnuggets: I was eating magic mushrooms when I realized how atomic bomb mushroom clouds are also shaped like mushrooms. Isn’t that weird? How come so many things in nature are shaped like mushrooms? Then I looked down and realized my penis also looks like a mushroom. What is the reason for this? Is it […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Are So Many Things in Nature Shaped Like Mushrooms?”Dear McFartnuggets: I tried eating at an Applebees for the first time last night and the food was terrible. The riblets tasted weird like it was rat meat or something. Then when I was ready to leave I asked the waiter for a check. This guy comes over and gives me a piece of paper with […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Come When I Ask The Waiter For A Check He Brings A Bill?”Human beings love collecting things. Collections gives us a sense of accomplishment in this crazy world where nothing seems to matter and there are no clear objectives. That being said, there are certain things you should never collect. Well, as long as no one comes over to your house you should be fine, but if […]
Read More The Top 5 Weirdest Things To Collect
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 