One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Dear McFartnuggets: Ever since I can remember I’ve been a homophobic. I’m not proud of it, I’m actually very embarrassed about it. Whenever I see gay people it makes me feel weird. It’s just a bad feeling I get and I can’t really explain it all I know is it makes me feel very uncomfortable and […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is it Okay to Come Out as Homophobic?”When people offer you jobs after you’ve already officially accepted an offer from another company sometimes you tell them to fuck off because you don’t need them. People tell you that’s called “burning bridges” because you’re ruining connections that are behind you and one day you might want to go back. The way I see […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Burning Bridges”Dear McFartnuggets: If Donald Trump becomes President he has said he wants to build a wall between Mexico and America to keep rapists out. Everyone says that Mexicans will end up building the wall and that shows how valuable they are as workers. It’s obvious Americans wouldn’t build the wall because it’s too much work […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Who Would Build The Wall Between Mexico and America?”When you’re having your yearly performance review in your boss’ office he says shit like “We need you to start being more versatile around here. You’re a one trick pony and we need more out you!” This phrase “one trick pony” doesn’t really make sense to me. The main problem with it is, there’s no […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “One Trick Pony”One of the most popular phrases people say before doing something really stupid like asking a stranger to have sex or drinking and driving is “NO REGRETS!” A lot of people make this their main creed in life. The idea is that they will do whatever they want so when they’re older they won’t have […]
Read More Dumbass Saying: “No Regrets”Dear McFartnuggets: I’m sure by now you know Taco Bell is serving Cap’n Crunch balls and I’m wondering if they’re actually something else. They’re red and they got colorful bits all over them and when you bite in, hot gooey white stuff comes out. Now am I wrong or is that exactly what clown testicles […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Are Those Taco Bell Cap’n Crunch Balls Really Clown Testicles?”When you drink too much before a funeral and end up accidentally vomiting into the open casket people say “Hey man, that was a real dick move…” A “dick move”? Why do we call bad behaviors “dick moves”? There’s nothing wrong with a dick move. If it wasn’t for dick moves none of us would […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Dick Move”Dear McFartnuggets: I heard the other day this word “encyclopedia” what is this? I am a teenager so I don’t know this word. What is this to mean? Is it a nickname for a pedophile on a bicycle? — Maxx from Paris, Texas Dear Maxx: Wow, I forgot that kids today are growing up completely […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “What is Encyclopedia?”When you see two crackheads fighting in the street usually a third crackhead will start narrating and doing the play-by-play commentary. One popular phrase they’ll say is “There’s no love lost between these two, folks!” What the hell is this supposed to mean? Now think about this, if you say there’s “no love lost” between […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “No Love Lost”Dear McFartnuggets: People blame Ralph Nader for taking voters away from Al Gore in the 2000 Presidential election so if he hadn’t ran and Al Gore became President do you think Al Gore would have paid more attention to the warnings the President was getting about Bin Laden attacking America that Bush ignored? If people […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Was Ralph Nader Responsible For 9/11?”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 