One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
When an executive of a company either gets fired or their company goes out of business they usually end up with millions and millions of dollars as a reward for their failures. This is known to the public as a “Golden parachute.” This is a weird saying because an actual parachute made of gold would […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Golden Parachute”Dear McFartnuggets: Why the hell do Spanish speaking people call soccer “Fútbol”? The Spanish word for “foot” is “pie” and the Spanish word for “ball” is “bola.” So shouldn’t they call it piebola? Or bola del pie? That would mean “football” which is what soccer is called everywhere in the world besides America. Instead they […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do Spanish People Call Soccer Fútbol?”Dear McFartnuggets: I’m an honest person and I always tell people the truth. If I see someone who looks goofy as fuck I’ll just straight out tell them “Your eyes are too close together,” or “Damn you got some big ass, oddly angled ears!” People say I’m rude for doing this, but I’m just pointing […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is it Rude to Be Honest?”One of the hardest things about having a child is having to teach them things and explain all the weird shit that occurs on this planet. So much of the daily issues we face are incredibly complex and most adults don’t even have a firm grasp on them. The trouble comes when these people have […]
Read More The Top 10 Hardest Things to Explain to Your ChildrenDear McFartnuggets: Now that Bruce Jenner has revealed that he was a woman this whole time does that make her officially the greatest woman athlete of all time? She won a gold medal at the 1976 Olympics in the Decathlon competing against men. That’s pretty much unheard of for a woman to achieve. I don’t […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is Caitlyn Jenner The Greatest Woman Athlete of All-Time?”Sometimes when you’re not too busy at work your boss will walk up and say “Wake up! Don’t just sit there with your thumb up your ass!” What a strange thing to say. I’m very interested to know how this even became a saying. Who was the first person to put their thumb in their […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Sitting There with Your Thumb Up Your Ass”Sometimes when you cut a person off in traffic they speed past you in the other lane and scream “HEY! EAT ME, FUCKTARD!” Excuse me? Eat you? I don’t really understand what this is supposed to mean. Is this encouraging cannibalism? Why would you want someone to eat you? No one should tell another person […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Eat Me!”Dear McFartnuggets: I have kind of a strange fetish where I get aroused by consuming human tears. I’d rather not get into the specifics, suffice it to say I have my ways of procuring the tears from various “subjects.” What I mean to ask is if there is any risk of contracting diseases from the […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Can I Get Any Diseases From Drinking People’s Tears?”Dear McFartnuggets: Okay so I know that the term “ratchet” means “ghetto” or “skanky” now I’m just trying to figure out where the term came from? How did this term come about? Who made it up? What are the origins of “ratchet”? — Eloise from Lincoln, Nebraska Dear Eloise: There are a lot of conflicting […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Where Did The Slang Word ‘Ratchet’ Come From?”Whenever you hear about a deadly car accident on the news the reporter always says “Officials have stated that speed appears to be a factor in the crash.” Well isn’t that a revelation! What gave it away? The body that exploded out of the front windshield or the raging gasoline fire? Of course speed was […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Speed Appears to Be a Factor”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 