One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
People from England invented the English language so you’d figure however they choose to spell the words is the right way. However, something just doesn’t seem right about the way they spell certain words. I’m not saying Americans speak or spell English gooder or more awesome than brilliant British folks, but we did make Baseball […]
Read More The Top 5 Weirdest British Spellings of WordsSometimes you’re talking about parenting with other parents and you say “I never hit my kids” they reply with a “What, you want a cookie for that?” This is a weird thing to say to someone when you’re not holding a plate of cookies. Do I want a cookie? Yes. Always. I am always open […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Do You Want a Cookie?”Dear McFartnuggets: Why do we have to congratulate people on getting married? That’s like congratulating someone on betting half their money on a roulette wheel that takes years to stop. They didn’t do anything special. People get married all the time, it doesn’t really take any skill. It’s not an achievement of any kind. It’s […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do We Congratulate People on Getting Married?”Sometimes your doctor misdiagnoses a heart condition after failing to read one of your medical reports and prescribes you a potentially lethal medication. When you confront him about this he says “Hey sorry about that. I had a little bit of a brain fart.” I really don’t like this term “brain fart.” What the hell […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Brain Fart”You always see charity walks for Lou Gehrig’s disease or breast cancer, but what about the causes that never get charity walks for some reason? Here are the top 5 causes that you never see a charity walk for: 5. Feline AIDS Feline AIDS affects anywhere from 2.5% to 4.4% of all cats worldwide and […]
Read More The Top 5 Causes That Never Get a Charity WalkWhen you discuss the possibility of faking your own death and abandoning your family, someone always tells you “Hey the grass is always greener on the other side!” This is supposed to mean that making major changes to your life seems like a good idea at first but that’s just because you hate your own […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side”Dear McFartnuggets: With all this controversy surrounding Jared from Subway about child porn is it possible that by eating so much Subway he not only lost hundreds of pounds but also became a pedophile in the process? Could this be a serious public health issue? We deserve to know the truth! Is it guacamole? I […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Should I Stop Eating at Subway Because of Jared?”Dear McFartnuggets: I see a lot of people now taking selfies with other people in them. Now pardon my ignorance on the matter, but isn’t “selfie” short for “self portrait”? Usually self portraits are portraits of yourself, hence the fucking name. I’m at a loss here. At what point is a selfie not a selfie? […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is it Still a ‘Selfie’ if Other People Are in it?”Sometimes you’ll catch your fiancee getting rammed by the mascot of the local minor league baseball team. When you question her about it the next day thinking it may have just been some kind of drug induced hallucinatory fever dream she says “Me and Buzz Buzz weren’t doin nothin! Okay fine he just gave me […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “The God’s To Honest Truth”Dear McFartnuggets: Hey why do hobos live in big cities? Why wouldn’t they just move into the woods and build a treehouse or something and live off the fat of the land? It takes money to live in cities and you gotta be around people with money all the time sitting on a dirty ass […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do Hobos Live in Cities?”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 