Dumbass Sayings: “I Love My Kids!”

Sometimes you’re at work and someone will randomly yell “I love my kids!” Okay, that’s well and good. The thing is, that should be a given. You shouldn’t have to tell other people that. Tell your kids that. Everyone else was already assuming you did. This is like saying “I eat food!” Good! We all […]

Dumbass Sayings: “Even The Sun Shines on a Dog’s Ass Some Days”

When you’re out playing a pickup game of basketball with some guys from the neighborhood and hit the game winning shot, Jared says “Even the Sun shines on a dog’s ass some days…” Then he spits at your feet and walks away. Yes, Jared that is true. The Sun does shine on a dog’s ass […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Did Jurassic Park Make Dangerous Dinosaurs?”

Dear McFartnuggets: Hey how come the old guy who made Jurassic Park decided to make raptors and T-rex dinosaurs? That seems like a really silly idea because just seeing any dinosaur would be cool enough. I would go there just to see a Triceratops and Brontosaurus. Those are amazing creatures. I don’t think I would […]

Dumbass Sayings: “My Baby’s First Word Was Dada”

Every new parent is focused on what their baby’s first word will be. Mothers and fathers battle over whether the baby will say “Mama” or “Dada” first. The big problem here is, Dada isn’t a word. Mama is. I know it’s just a matter of circumstance, but the fact remains, “dada” isn’t an officially recognized […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “If You’re Not Bisexual Aren’t You Sexist?”

Dear McFartnuggets: People be talking about sexism and how sexism is a huge problem in the world today, though how you gonna say sexism is a big problem when almost erryone is sexist? Hear me out, aren’t you sexist if you’re a straight person because you find the idea of having sex with a person […]

Dumbass Sayings: “You’re a Kite Dancing in a Hurricane”

Sometimes when you’re a secret agent, a older gentleman with a beard sitting in a chair will look at you and say “You’re a kite dancing in a hurricane.” Okay… I’m not really sure what that’s supposed to mean. Is that some sort of threat? If it’s a threat then why am I dancing? Dancing […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “Is There Really No Such Thing As a Stupid Question?”

Dear McFartnuggets: Hey Binkie I was just wondering is there really is no such a thing as a stupid question? I’ve heard people tell me there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but I find that hard to believe. Some questions have to be stupid, right? — Cleve from Twin Falls, Idaho Dear Cleve: Of […]

Dumbass Sayings: “Body After Baby”

After women give birth to a baby, one of their biggest concerns is losing the weight they gained during pregnancy. They see photos online and in magazines of other womens’ “Body after baby.” and feel pressured to look like a model a week after they just shot a human out of their vagina. People are […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “What The Hell is Sleep AIDS?”

Dear McFartnuggets: I been hearing about this new thing Sleep AIDS on the news. Great just what I need a new STD to be scared of! What the hell is Sleep AIDS anyways? Do I need to sleep in my bed at night with a condom on and a preventative buttplug up my ass from […]

Dumbass Sayings: “Walking on Eggshells”

Sometimes when you grow up with an alcoholic father you have to be careful not to anger him by waking him up at night. It’s such a universal experience that Parker Brothers actually based a board game off of this situation called “Don’t Wake Daddy.” Of course losing at the board game never involved being […]

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