One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
When two families are warring with each other people say “They have bad blood between them.” Huh? What? It’s amazing that this phrase ever took off because when you actually think about it, it makes zero goddamn sense. How do you have blood between yourself and someone else? The blood is inside you. Hating someone […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Bad Blood”Sometimes you’ll be riding in a ferris wheel with some lady you met on the BigfootBelieversMeet dating network and she says “I’ll stop the world and melt with you!” Now this is clearly taken from the song “I Melt With You” by the English band Modern English. In the context of that specific song it […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “I’ll Stop The World and Melt with You”Dear McFartnuggets: Beautiful women always complain about being objectified for their looks by men so if it’s such a big problem why don’t they just get a big face tattoo or mess up their skin or something to make them look like an average person? Clearly there has to be some benefit to being beautiful […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “If Beautiful Women Don’t Want to Be Objectified Why Don’t They Disfigure Themselves?”Sometimes your wife says “Hey I’m going to Vegas for a long weekend with the girls. You don’t mind if I get a hall pass do you?” Apparently a “Hall pass” is what people are calling the agreement to let a spouse sleep with anyone they want for a predetermined period of time without violating […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Hall Pass”Dear McFartnuggets: People who have to use wheelchairs have it bad, but hoverboard technology will one day lead to hover wheelchairs or hoverchairs. When that day comes do you think people will wish they were handicapped so they can get one? You could ride in them with working legs, but it would be like riding […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “When Hoverchairs Come Out Will You Wish You Were Handicapped?”Sometimes if you ask a friend if they want to go to brunch for a light cucumber sandwich, some biscuits and tea they reply “Phuckin A!” “Phuckin A” is a very peculiar phrase used in modern English. It’s worth some examination because from what I can tell no one actually knows what the fuck it […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Phuckin A”The trailer for the “Point Break” remake starts off with the ancient proverb: “There are some who do not fear death for they are more afraid of not really living.” The weird thing about this “ancient proverb” is that when you Google it you only get three matches and they’re all about the “Point Break” […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “There Are Some Who Do Not Fear Death For They Are More Afraid of Not Really Living”Dear McFartnuggets: Have you seen those goats that scream like people? Why do they do that? Why did the goats evolve like that? Did they learn to scream like a human as a hillbilly rape alarm or something like that? That way people will run to rescue a person being raped when if it was […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do Goats Scream Like People?”Dear McFartnuggets: Why is it whenever someone calls in a bomb threat at a school or a plane or an office building they always evacuate the place? I mean has there ever been a bomb that followed? It seems like 99.9% of the time it’s a false threat and everyone’s just inconvenienced while some jerkhead is […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do People Take Bomb Threats Seriously?”Whenever people are talking about a perfect couple they say shit like “Randolph and Janet are a match made in heaven!” I don’t quite understand this saying. Things don’t get matched up in Heaven then come down to Earth. What sense would that make? If you’re in Heaven just stay up there, it’s probably a […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Match Made in Heaven”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 