One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
When you get into some serious gambling debt with loan sharks and you go to family for help they sometimes say “I’m not going to bail you out again! You made your bed, now lie in it!” This is one of those sayings that has a lot of things wrong with it. First of all […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “You Made Your Bed Now Lie in it”Dear McFartnuggets: Whenever a foul ball at a baseball game is hit into the crowd all the people flock like starving dogs over a lamp chop. Do they even know that baseballs are rubbed with mud and the pitchers lick their fingers then touch the ball. The pitchers wipe their sweat on the ball too.There’s […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do People Try So Hard to Get a Foul Ball?”Sometimes when you’re explaining to a group of college kids why rape is bad they say “Hey man! Get off your high horse!” First off, my horse is not high. What kind of sick fuck would give drugs to their horse?! Unless it’s purely recreational and the horse does it on his own then I’d […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “High Horse”Dear McFartnuggets: Basically all cat toys are a form of teasing. Why is this acceptable? It wouldn’t be right to dangle a string with feathers on it in front of a mentally disabled person so why is it okay to do that with a cat? — Kersten from Newport, Oregon Dear Kersten: Yes, nearly all […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Are Cat Toys Unethical?”Whenever a person is arrested and they start whining about how they can’t go to jail, someone always says “If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime!” Obviously this saying makes sense, but it also inadvertently supports and even encourages crimes IF you have the time. This saying should just be “Don’t do […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “If You Can’t Do The Time, Don’t Do The Crime”Dear McFartnuggets: Why do people care about the Triple Crown? Is it really that important that a horse wins three races in a row? It’s a damn horse! What’s going to happen if a horse wins the Kentucky Derby, Preakness, and Belmont Stakes all in a row again? Are we going to all blow the […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do People Care About The Triple Crown?”When it comes to preparing your resume there’s not much you can do to improve it without lying about where you used to work or went to school. However, there is one very effective way to improve any resume and that’s the font choice. Now a lot of people would probably tell you the best […]
Read More The Top 10 Worst Fonts to Use For Your ResumeSometimes when you’re minding your own business having a drink at a bar a woman will walk up and say “Hey baby, did it hurt?” You say “Did what hurt?” She says “When you fell from Heaven!” This is a really bizarre pickup line to use on someone. The thing I don’t like about it […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Did it Hurt When You Fell From Heaven?”Dear McFartnuggets: Slot machines are called “One armed bandits” and people know this. The folks who play them even refer to them as “One armed bandits” so why would they still play them? Isn’t that like knowingly playing a game called “Rape box”? Who would play a game knowing it’s right in the name that […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do People Play Slots When They’re Called One Armed Bandits?”Sometimes when you catch Oscar at work looking up information on how to kidnap people he says “Hey you got it all wrong! I wouldn’t hurt a fly!” Oh that’s relieving… Well guess what! I WOULD hurt a fly. So what does that mean? Does that mean I’m some kind of sick freak? No, the […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “I Wouldn’t Hurt a Fly”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 