One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Dear McFartnuggets: I’m always hearing kids saying “Hey that sucks” or “This sucks” or “That sucks!” Sometimes the kids are really young, as young as maybe six years old. The parents of these kids just let them say it too. Do they realize what these kids are saying? When someone says “That sucks” they’re referring […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Should Kids Be Allowed to Use The Word ‘Sucks’?”When you punch a guy without any warning and knock them unconscious eyewitnesses say “He just cold cocked him out of nowhere!” Cold cocked? That sounds more like an Eskimo sex act than a punch. If “cold cocked” is a term then why isn’t “warm cocked” a term we use? If it’s called “cold cocking” […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Cold Cocked”Dear McFartnuggets: There’s this guy in a wheelchair that camps out on the corner of the street and stares at women all day long. Sometimes he starts rolling up behind them and tries to look up their dresses with a mirror on his foot thingies (I don’t know what you call that on a wheelchair, […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “What Can I Do About A Creepy Veteran?”Dear McFartnuggets: Hey what’s the area of skin inbetween my fingers called? Does that even have a name? — Jenny from Branson, Missouri Dear Jenny: What you’re referring to is generally called “webbing.” Now the problem with that is when people have the condition called Syndactyly where the digits are abnormally fused together with skin […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “What is the Area of Skin Between The Fingers Called?”Sometimes a person will come up to you when you’re wearing your Dale Earnhardt Jr. NASCAR replica jumpsuit and say “Yuck, I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing that!” What does this even mean? This is a very puzzling sentence. You wouldn’t be caught dead wearing that? Well first off, who is ever caught dead? Caught […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “I Wouldn’t Be Caught Dead Wearing That”The philosopher Keanu Reeves once said “Chicks dig scars.” I’m not sure if I 100% agree with this statement. If chicks dig scars then how come I’ve gotten so many negative reactions to the crotch scar I got as a child? No one has “dug” that yet. If chicks digs scars so much why isn’t […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Chicks Dig Scars”Dear McFartnuggets: There’s this guy from my job, I won’t say his name let’s just say it rhymes with Bonathan, who claims he’s “Gender-Fluid.” He says he’s not a man or a woman specifically. To be honest I think he’s just using it as an excuse to use the women’s bathroom, because the men’s bathroom […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “What in the Hell is Gender-Fluid?”Dear McFartnuggets: The other night I was going out with my friends and we were trying to get into this night club. The bounder there was Australian and he was like “You (C-word), come in here!” I was so offended I just left, I didn’t even want to go in. How dare he call be […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Come Australian People Can Say The C-Word and Not Get in Trouble?”Dear McFartnuggets: How come it’s so hard for me to remember people’s names when I first meet them? Every single time I meet someone in a group of people they tell me their names, I repeat the name back to myself and then within two seconds it’s gone. Why? It’s so embarrassing to ask someone […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Come it’s So Hard to Remember People’s Names?”Whenever you see a video that’s noticeably shaky inevitably someone will yell out “Hey who recorded this? Michael J. Fox?!” then everyone laughs because Michael J. Fox has Parkinson’s Disease. Let me straighten a few things out here. Michael J. Fox is a highly accomplished actor and has two directorial credits. If he was recording […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Who Recorded This? Michael J. Fox?”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 