One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
When you tell people you’re planning to get a tattoo sometimes they say “Whoa! You can’t do that to your body! You don’t see people putting bumper stickers on a Ferrari do you? Why would you ruin your perfect body like that?!” Now I can sort of see the comparison here, but the big difference […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “No One Puts Bumper Stickers on a Ferrari”Dear McFartnuggets: I’ve read some article that said chocolate is more chemically addicting as cocaine. The thing is I don’t recall ever giving a rim job to a guy I never met before in a dirty nightclub bathroom so he’d give me a free Three Musketeers bar. I’ve never strangled a prostitute because she ate […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is Chocolate Really As Chemically Addicting as Cocaine?”Dear McFartnuggets: Why on Earth are there always pigeons in cities? They can live wherever they want! They have wings they can fly! Why would they choose to live in dirty cities where there are tons of dangers around like cars and hungry homeless people? There’s not even any natural food for them. Shouldn’t they […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do Pigeons Live in Cities?”Sometimes you’ll be making small talk with some fat guy at a deli and he says “You gotta try my grandmother’s veal! My grandmother’s veal is to die for!” I don’t understand this phrase at all. What is the point in that? If you DIE you can’t enjoy what you’re talking about, because you’re dead. […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “To Die For”Dear McFartnuggets: Transgender people say they’re born in the wrong bodies and there are a lot more of them now than there used to be. Why are so many people being born in the wrong bodies these days? They say 5% of the entire world population is transgender. Whoever is responsible for putting the right […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do People Get Put in the Wrong Bodies So Often?”Sometimes when you show up to work and Horace isn’t there you ask the boss “Hey, where’s Horace?” and they say “Horace took his own life last night.” Okay that’s all well and good, but you don’t need the word “own” in that sentence. You can say someone took their life and everyone knows exactly […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Take Your Own Life”The poet Dylan Thomas said “Do not go gentle into that good night” concerning his dying father. I don’t agree with this advice. If you’re with someone old like your father while they’re dying then of course they should go gently. What the hell is this “don’t go gently” crap? Do you want to see […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night”Dear McFartnuggets: So my Aunt Helen’s dream has always been to run in a marathon, the only problem is she became paralyzed from the waist down after a car accident last year. She’s in a motorized wheelchair now and still wants to “run” in a marathon. Do you think she should? I want her to, […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is it Okay For Someone in a Motorized Wheelchair to Do a Marathon?”Sometimes when people are looking back at their life they say “If I had to do it all over again I wouldn’t change a damn thing!” Okay first off, what do you mean if you HAD TO? Would you seriously be forced into the idea of getting an extra bonus life on top of the […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “If I Had to Do it All Over Again, I Wouldn’t Change a Thing”With a lot of same-sex marriages happening lately, a huge concern is that the children brought into these families will grow up strange. Well while it may take a little more time to see how all that turns out I can bring up a few specific positives to having same-sex parents. There are very obvious […]
Read More The Top 3 Benefits To Having Same Sex Parents
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 