One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Dear McFartnuggets: Why do people at work always ask me what my Thanksgiving plans are? I started a new job this year and my co-workers asked me what my plans for Thanksgiving were. Last year at my old job they asked the same thing. The problem is that I’m a very honest person. I’m not […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do People Always Ask What My Thanksgiving Plans Are?”Sometimes you’re out in the park licking an ice cream cone and staring at people and some guy walks up to you and says “Hey man you’re creeping my wife out! You better leave right now or I’m gonna kick your ass!” What is all this “kick your ass” business? No one ever kicks anyone’s […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Kick Your Ass”Dear McFartnuggets: Women always be complaining at my office that they’re cold. All the time even during the summer it was 80 degrees and bitches talking about “I’m so cold! I need to go get my sweater!” They were cold in July wait til they get to December! How do they even survive the winters? […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do Women Always Complain About Being Cold?”Sometimes you’re waiting in line at the Dunkin Donuts and you hear a guy at the counter say “Yeah let me get a half a dozen glazed pumpkin spice crumble donuts.” What is this “half a dozen” nonsense? You can just say “six.” You realize six is a number, right? Saying it doesn’t invoke the […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Half a Dozen”Dear McFartnuggets: I saw a tall homeless person for the first time in my life the other day. I was so blown away by it I wanted to take a picture. As I walked up for a selfie I thought better of it and decided to leave. He was like 6 foot 6 though, it […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Don’t You See Tall Homeless People?”These days when you want to wish someone a happy birthday you can just text them the letters “HBD.” Call me old fashioned, but this seems a little cheap. I don’t put too much stock in birthdays myself, but if you’re going to type HBD to someone why even bother typing anything at all? It’s […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “HBD”Dear McFartnuggets: You see all these videos on the internet now of women being catcalled on the street by men. Is it just me or is this a new thing? I’ve been living in a city for years and I’ve maybe only once seen or heard a woman getting catcalled. I see men turning around […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do Women Get Catcalled So Much These Days?”After your son’s little league team gets beat, sometimes the other coach will say “Man, that was a cakewalk!” Now, “cakewalk” is a term that originated from something called “prize walks” in the late 19th century. During these prize walks, people would dance around in couples and the winning couple would receive a cake. First […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Cakewalk”Dear McFartnuggets: Yo, I got a question for you. When midgets want to play volleyball do they all climb up on a ping pong table? — Quan from Rochester, New York Dear Quan: No… Obviously they play volleyball on a TENNIS court. Then if they want to play tennis then they play on a ping […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Do Midgets Play Volleyball on a Ping Pong Table?”Dear McFartnuggets: Stereotypes are demonized in today’s politically correct culture, but isn’t it true that stereotypes actually help us survive? It’s a stereotype that certain colored mushrooms are poisonous so is it wrong to avoid eating those types of mushrooms to keep from dying? No, and that’s the same as with people. If I see […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Do Stereotypes Protect Us From Danger?”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 