One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
The song “One” by Harry Nilsson has a lyric that goes “One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do.” Now if you’re a normal person you might hear that and think “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do? What do you mean DO? You […]
Read More Dumbass Song Lyrics: “One Is The Loneliest Number”Dear McFartnuggets: Do you hear about the microbeads? The news is saying about how plastic microbeads in bodywash and soaps are passing through water treatment plants because they’re so small and polluting the ocean. Then the microbeads collect in the oceans like little pellets and fishes are eating them by accidental thinking it’s food. Then […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Could Plastic Microbeads Be The Cure For Obesity?”Dear McFartnuggets: The state of Georgia executed their first female prisoner in 70 years recently and it got me wondering why more women aren’t on death row. When you look at the number of United States death row inmates by gender there are 2,948 men (98.20%) and only 54 women (1.80%). Women are always talking […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Aren’t Women Put on Death Row as Often as Men?”Sometimes when you’re out on the town with grandma she says “Here take some spending money for the toffee shop.” That’s a very strange term, “spending money.” ALL money is spending money. That’s like saying “Take this penetrating dildo” or “Take this reading book” or “Here, take this cutting knife.” You could stab with a […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Spending Money”Dear McFartnuggets: People say you should be proud of your body no matter what. People are proud of their stretch marks and their fat, but is it okay to proud of my genital warts? I want to be proud of them, but whenever I try to be, people be hating on me. They say “Ewww […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is it Okay to Be Proud of Your Flaws?”Sometimes you’re at the club minding your own business and some lady walks up and says “Excuse, me I just had to say you have the lips of an angel!” Seriously? The lips of an angel? This is a really weird thing to say to someone. First of all, angels aren’t known for their lips. […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Lips of an Angel”Dear McFartnuggets: Tell me if this is weird or not, but whenever a homeless person comes near me to talk to me I get a really itchy feeling all over my body. I know you can be allergic to dogs and cats because of their hair I’m wondering if the same thing can happen with […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Can You Be Allergic to Homeless People?”Sometimes Gladice at work corners you in the break room at work and says “I got this weird pins and needles sensation in my crotch area whenever I pee.” Okay first off I really didn’t need to know that. I know you have some sick thing where you have to tell people these details about […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Pins and Needles”Dear McFartnuggets: Okay this is gonna be a weird question so I apologize in advance. I keep hearing people say that the average male nipple should be the size of a quarter but to me that seems too big! Mine are like the size a little bit bigger than Tic Tacs. Do I have really […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Big Should Male Nipples Be?”When confronted about his lack of governing experience, Republican Presidential candidate Dr. Ben Carson likes to say “The ark was made by amateurs, the Titanic was made by professionals.” I suppose if you were looking for one of the only instances of amateurism trumping expertise in known history that’s not a bad example. Of course, […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “The Ark Was Made By Amateurs, The Titanic Was Made By Professionals”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 