One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Dear McFartnuggets: My dog Ignacio has really hit it off with another dog, Samantha that goes to our dog park. Me and the other dog’s owner have been arranging dates for them and things are starting to get pretty serious. They make out immediately just upon meeting and then there’s a lot of assplay and […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Should My Dog Be Getting Married?”Sometimes you come across a word in the English language and you get the feeling the person who invented the word was just fucking with people and everyone just took it seriously. Here are the top 5 real English words that were most likely a joke that no one understood: 5. Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis This is a […]
Read More The Top 5 Real Words That Were Probably Intended To Be PranksSometimes when a person kidnaps someone else and traps them in their basement, the woman loves to say “If you let me go we’ll just pretend like this never even happened I swear!” Are you kidding? Yes, actually you are kidding. Sure you might not say anything for a day or two maybe even a […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “If You Let Me Go We’ll Just Pretend Like None of This Ever Happened!”Dear McFartnuggets: Hey if not being in a relationship is called being “single” then why isn’t dating called being “double”? — Nelson from Des Moines, Iowa Dear Nelson: That is an interesting observation. I think it’s because if you called people “double” it might sound like they’re a pair of conjoined twins. Double implies a […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “If Not Being in a Relationship is Called Being Single Why Isn’t Dating Called Being Double?”When you’re at a casino and you’ve just won a couple thousand dollars at poker everyone says “Quit while you’re ahead!” Who ever quits while they’re ahead though? You wouldn’t commit suicide the moment you win the lottery. The reason no one does that is because there’s no such thing as “being ahead.” Ahead of […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Quit While You’re Ahead”Dear McFartnuggets: With the violence during the protests for Freddie Mercury, I’ve been asking why people make the decision to riot. What does this accomplish? Do these people really think that setting cars on fire and looting will help the cops take it easier on them and view them as less of a threat? As […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: ”Why Do People Riot During Protests?Sometimes at work when you miss a deadline on a report your co-workers say “You really screwed the pooch there!” Look I get that I made a mistake, but I think there’s a slight difference between missing a deadline and copulating with a dog. One is just an accident because you got really drunk one […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Screw The Pooch”Dear McFartnuggets: Why is it that surgically enhanced asses are seen as so much more ratchet than surgically enhanced tits? They’re both fake so why is getting butt implants less acceptable in society? — Gill from Montpelier, Vermont Dear Gill: Yes they are both fake, however there is a bit of a difference between breasts […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Are Fake Asses Considered Worse Than Fake Tits?”Here we see the first signs that Timmy is taking more after his “Uncle” Jethro than his biological father. Although the father was unsure of his boy acting like a frozen dairy bitch, the delicious taste of that dutch chocolate ice cream made him forget all about it.
Read More Udderly Disturbing Ice Cream Commercial From The 60’sDear McFartnuggets: If karma was real wouldn’t every good person who volunteered to do charity work end up becoming a millionaire? Or if karma was real wouldn’t Hitler have died much sooner of a heart attack or stroke? Obviously karma is a load of crap. It’s crazy that anyone with a brain could believe in […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do People Believe in Karma?”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 