One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
How’d you get this in yourpants? Who are you?MC Hammer? Dear McFartnuggets: I got an iPad Air recently and I love it except for one very big flaw! One day I took it out of my back pocket and the whole thing was bent! Can they not make these things sturdy enough to handle being […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "Why Does My iPad Air Bend in My Pocket?"Chances are at one time or another you’ve heard some buffoon tell you that smiling adds five years onto your life or ten years or two years or some ridiculous amount of time. I don’t think any of this is actually proven by science. How could it be? Basically people just do studies and figure […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Smiling Adds Years To Your Life”Ass crabs aren’tan urban legend. Dear McFartnuggets: My asshole has been extraordinarily itchy lately and I recently learned my girlfriend has contracted crabs “from work.” Yeah I don’t know what that means either, but lately I’ve been too concerned about my buthole feeling like it’s covered in invisible termites to really get into the details […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "Is it Possible to Get Pubic Lice in Your Anus?"It looks like a sink for tinypeople, but it’s not! We all want that fresh from the bidet feeling, but not everyone has the means or time to construct a world class bidet in their own home. There are a lot of different alternatives to a real bidet, but a great number of them are […]
Read More The Top 5 Worst Things To Use As A BidetThe cure for Ebola?No. Plus that’s KY Jelly. Dear McFartnuggets: Does Purell kill Ebola? Will it protect me from getting the Ebola? If I get The E can I chug Ebola to cure it? — Cynthia from Rockport, Maine Dear Cynthia: That’s a tricky question. The World Health Organization has been advising people to use […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "Does Purell Kill Ebola?"Aww… How…Interesting! We’ve all been in a situation where your friend or relative has invited you to meet their new baby and the baby looks ODD. I don’t want to use the term “ugly” but the baby just has strange and unusual facial proportions. The forehead is either gigantic or way too small, one eye […]
Read More The Top 10 Ways To Describe An Ugly BabyWhen this is your emblemyou can’t expect toomuch Spanish. Dear McFartnuggets: How come you never hear Spanish people calling New England “Nueva England” like they say “Nueva York” or “Nueva Jersey”? Is the Spanish name for New England really “Nueva England”? It sounds so weird. — Jacky from Portsmouth, New Hampshire Dear Jacky: Actually the […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Don’t Spanish People Ever Say Nueva England?”When you have to go take a dump people refer to that as “Nature’s call.” This is a very inaccurate description. It’s not a call, it’s a demand. “Call” implies that you have a choice in the matter. If it was a call you could hang up or put it on hold until it decided […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: "Nature’s Call"Yeah the real Winnie wasBlack. Can you deal withthat? Dear McFartnuggets: What is the name “Winnie” in “Winnie The Pooh” short for? Is it Winifred? Is this playa actually named Winifred The Pooh? That’s some ridiculous shit! How you got a girl’s name being you a male bear? I mean granted you ain’t got no […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “What is The Winnie in Winnie-the-Pooh Short For?”When your grandmother can’t hear what you said because her ears are dying she says “I beg your pardon, sonny?” You beg my pardon? What is this the 17th century? Let’s deconstruct this phrase. First of all, you “Beg”? You’re begging? Why? Have some dignity! And you’re begging for my pardon? The only person who […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “I Beg Your Pardon”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 