One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Future star of the blockbusterfilm “Steve Williams.” Dear McFartnuggets: Keanu Reeves is in a new movie called “John Wick” which seems a lot like the Tom Cruise movie “Jack Reacher” which was a little like that movie “John Carter.” Why does Hollywood keep naming movies after the main character? It’s okay if it’s just one […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do They Keep Naming Movies After The Main Characters?”Sometimes when your wife asks you to explain the dead Guatemalan migrant worker in your basement and you remain silent while struggling to think of a good excuse she’ll say “What’s the matter, cat got your tongue?” This is a completely bizarre saying that I can’t believe still persists. Do people even stop to think […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Cat Got Your Tongue?”Always put your contacts inBEFORE you wipe. Dear McFartnuggets: Hey there! Can bacteria from my anus cause Pink Eye? Look forward to your answer. Thanks! — Stephanie from Cape May, New Jersey Dear Stephanie: So you want to know if your brown eye can cause pink eye. The answer is YES. “Pink eye” otherwise known […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Can Anal Bacteria Cause Pink Eye?”With flu season upon us and Enterovirus running rampant, you’re going to hear a lot of people telling others to “Cover their mouth” when they cough or sneeze. The mouth should be covered, but most people interpret this as “Cough into your hand.” Yeah go ahead and cough and sneeze your mucus and viruses directly […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Cover Your Mouth”People’s fears of clones being mentally unwell and erratic may have been inspired by this ad. This is the ad that sparked conversations about whether or not humans should be able to “Play God” and the repercussions it might have on society and life in general.
Read More Very Controversial Banned Toilet Paper Commercial From The 70’sSometimes Spanish isn’tthe quickest way to getyour point across. A lot of Spanish words are pretty similar to their English counterparts for example “rico” means “rich” and “tu” means “you,” but some Spanish words just go completely off the rails. Spanish is a fun sounding language, but it’s not considered the most efficient language in […]
Read More The Top 5 Most Inefficient Spanish WordsDon’t go to a gynecologistwho looks like a magicianunless you want a free rabbit. Dear McFartnuggets: I went to a new gynecologist last week that was recommended to me by someone at work. It was at one of those doctor’s offices that used to be a townhouse and just had a sign on the front […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is it Normal For My Gynecologist to Have a Boner?”Try to be thoughtfulwhen naming your anus. Just like people like to give nicknames to their genitals, these days they’re also giving nicknames to their buttholes. It’s a silly fad that will probably pass within a few years, but right now, naming your anus is like a talking to a Furby, everyone’s doing it. Now […]
Read More The Top 5 Worst Nicknames To Give Your ButtholeThey may have their ownlanguage, but they’re justlike me and you. We all know the terms “hobo” and “bum” can be offensive and are insensitive, but isn’t “homeless” also politically incorrect? These people have homes, their home are the streets and bus stations of the world. What they don’t have are houses. So why are […]
Read More Five Politically Correct Alternate Names For “Homeless People”You should never be ableto see a fart. Dear McFartnuggets: I’ve noticed that as the day goes on my farts smell stinkier and stinkier and stinkier. Why this is? — Lars from Tucson, Arizona Dear Lars: Well as the day goes on, more feces is being produced in your body. Your digestive system passes feces […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do My Farts Smell Worse Later in The Day?”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 