One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Fans in attendance at NFL games are known as “The 12th man.” They’re patronized as an extra player on their home team, but there are a few problems with this term. First off, there are a lot of female fans at games which means the 12th man has a lot of vaginas. I don’t know […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “The 12th Man”For some reason having this stuffin your pelvis makes certainjobs off limits. Even though it’s 2014 there are still some professions that aren’t fully accepting of females. Some people would say these jobs are “naturally” suited to the strengths of men, but hey it’s 2014, women are capable of everything men are so I don’t […]
Read More The Top 5 Worst Jobs For WomenMost strains of E.coli are harmlessbut that doesn’t mean you shouldget too comfortable with poo. Dear McFartnuggets: Can you get sicknesses from your own feces like E.coli? Like say if I rubbed my own poopoo in my eyes, is there a chance I could get the E.coli from that? — Dwayne from Montpelier, Vermont Dear Dwayne: […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Can You Get Sick From Your Own E.Coli?”Sometimes you have todelay the inevitable. Sometimes you get hit with the urge to take a dump and for whatever reason you can’t unleash the kraken. Maybe you’re in an elevator or at a stranger’s house and you don’t feel comfortable in their bathroom, whatever the reason there are some ways you can delay a […]
Read More Five Great Ways To Hold in a Bowel MovementBasically you’ve got aportable DVD player thatmakes phone calls. Phablets are the new hot thing to have in 2014. A phablet is basically what happens when a cell phone bangs a computer. What could be wrong with that? Well, as with any bizarre hybrid there are some negatives to these monstrosities. Here are the top […]
Read More The Top 5 Negatives To Having A PhabletPretending to be Black forentertainment tends to befrowned upon. Dear McFartnuggets: Iggy Azalea is a White Australian rapper who talks in an Australian accent, but raps in an American Southern Black voice. Why is she allowed to do this, but when I, a White man, do stand-up comedy in a Black voice like Bernie Mac […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why is Iggy Azalea Allowed To Sound Black?”Phablets are the cuttingedge of telephonic technology. These days phablet (phone tablet computers) are the hottest must have technological item. To some people it might seem ridiculous to carry around a phone the size of an Amazon Kindle, but there are some key benefits to using a gigantic phone. Here are the top 5 benefits […]
Read More The Top 5 Benefits To Having A PhabletKFC’s newest slogan is “How do you KFC?” Okay first of all, KFC stands for Kentucky Fried Chicken which is a noun not a verb. You can’t go Kentucky Fried Chickening. This is an obvious ripoff of the early Yahoo! slogan “Do you Yahoo?” which was stupid too. At least they were original in their […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “How Do You KFC?”Dear McFartnuggets: You know when they do that Emergency Broadcast System Test with the screechy noises and a creepy voice comes on and says “This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. If this was real you’d be given more information about the crazy shit that’s happening right now.” My question is, if it’s […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Do They Know if The Emergency Broadcast Test Worked?”If you’re a human you’re probably familiar with 3M’s Scotch Tape and the brand called “Magic tape.” Obviously this is an insult to all magicians and illusionists who ever lived. Thank god Houdini wasn’t alive to see this crap, he probably would have shit his Chinese water torture cell. It’s TAPE. What’s so magical about […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: "Magic Tape"
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 