One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
When you call any store or restaurant or establishment the person who answers the phone always says “Thanks for calling Best Buy” or “Thanks for calling Red Lobster” or “Thanks for calling Frank’s Dildo Emporium.” Is this really necessary? What the hell is the point of this? You’re just calling to ask a question, that’s […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Thanks For Calling”Como se dice “Como sedice?” en Ingles? Dear McFartnuggets: Ehh como se dice dice en Espanol? Gracias, hijo de puta! — Norbert from Baton Rouge, Louisiana Dear Norbert: Ahh I see… You’re trying to trick me with a written Spanish palabra acertijo. Nice try, cabron. “Dice” in Spanish is “Dados.” Oh and I don’t appreciate […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "Como Se Dice Dice en Espanol?"Taylor Swift has a song where she says “I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling twenty-two.” What the hell does feeling 22-years-old mean? There really is no particular feeling to being specific ages. You might be able to feel 20, 30, 40, etc., but you can’t feel 25 or 34. That’s getting very nuanced […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “I Don’t Know About You, But I’m Feeling Twenty-Two”Here’s a collection of some of the weirdest commercials ever made. What was going through these people’s minds I have no idea. First we’ve got some freak who’s obsessed with limes to an unhealthy extent. Then an old European guy selling toothpaste with very questionable statistics. Then finally, a guy openly discussing diarrhea in public […]
Read More Three of The Worst Commercials Ever Aired on TVShredding is a waste of time. Because identity theft is one of the biggest threats out there aside from Ebola and ISIS, the shredding business is booming. Everyone wants to buy a shredder, everyone wants to pay for shredding services, but did you know there are alternatives to shredding? Yes, there are certain things you […]
Read More The Top 5 Alternatives To Shredding DocumentsStation wagons with four wheel drive are often referred to as “Sports Utility Vehicles” or “SUVs.” This never made sense to me. What kind of sports are you participating in with a Sports Utility Vehicle? The only sport I can think of is truck soccer where you drive around a giant demolition derby arena pushing […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Sports Utility Vehicle”How can anyone lose aphone these days? Dear McFartnuggets: I’m getting a new phone today. I’m so excited! I don’t know if I should buy the insurance on it or not. I don’t want to pay the extra money, but I lost my last phone and I’m really worried it’ll happen again. Is this a […]
Read More Ask McFartuggets: “Should I Get Insurance For My Phone In Case I Lose It?”When someone lives the majority of their life at night people call them “Night owls.” This is a little redundant. Are there day owls? Obviously any owl would be a night owl. That’s like calling someone a “Day chicken.” Chickens are out and about during the day so you don’t need to mention the obvious. […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Night Owl”You can’t breathe vaginajuice forever. Dear McFartnuggets: Okay why do people always tell me I need to watch my baby around my pool because the baby will fall in? If I’m not mistaken, babies live for up to nine months in vagina juice breathing that in and don’t drown so how does babies drown? Come […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Does Babies Drown?”When someone sees a woman stumbling drunk in heels taking a dump on the sidewalk at midnight they usually say something like “Now there’s a woman after my own heart!” This saying really doesn’t make sense. Usually this is said to someone when you notice something peculiar about them that you share in common. You’re […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “After My Own Heart”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 