One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Sometimes people will say “I trust you about as far as I can throw you!” This is supposed to mean they don’t trust you very much, but it’s a really weird phrase that makes no sense. You’re trying to insult me saying you can’t trust me by announcing your own physical weakness? That’s like saying […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: "I Trust You About As Far As I Can Throw You"GIF vs JIF is the newEast vs West rap feud. Dear McFartnuggets: How do you pronounce GIF like .GIF files? Is it “Giff” or “Jiff”? I hear some people calling them “Jiffs.” — Marylou from Manhasset, New York Dear Marylou: GIF or Graphic Interchange Format was created by the CompuServe internet service in 1987. The […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Do You Pronounce GIF?”Love knows no IQ. Dear McFartnuggets: I met a really hot chick recently and we’ve been on a few dates already. Now I’m wondering if it’s okay to have sex with her. She’s 30-years-old so she is of age, but she’s mentally handicapped. She has Down Syndrome. I feel a little weird about this. She […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "Is it Wrong To Have Intercourse With Someone Who Has Down Syndrome?"Discover card’s slogan is “We treat you like you’d treat you.” I sincerely doubt that’s true. If it was then I would be expecting a hand job from Discover almost every day. As far as I can tell, they have no such “self pleasure” department. I’ve inquired several times and been told to stop calling. […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “We Treat You Like You’d Treat You”Hiccups are a realsymptom of Ebola. Now that Ebola is in New York City, I think it’s time to reassess the threat of a global Ebola pandemic. Think of your odds of contracting Ebola like your odds of winning the Powerball lottery. Let’s say for the sake of argument your odds of getting Ebola were […]
Read More What People Don’t Seem To Understand About EbolaNo one says “I’m gonna getsome fried wontons.” Dear McFartnuggets: Do Chinese people call Chinese food “Chinese food” or do they just call it “Food”? Because Italian people don’t say “Italian food” they always say things like “I’m gonna go get some chicken parmesan and gabagoool!” — Illiana from Boston, Massachusetts Dear Illiana: Actually I […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "Do Chinese People Call it Chinese Food or Just Food?"Back in the day when your mom used to get really mad she’d say things like “If you don’t stop misbehaving, so help me god I will leave this family!” “So help me god” is one of those things that people say and never really think about what it means. Why is the word “So” […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “So Help Me God”Perhaps the most famous killerwith three names wasJack The Ripper. Dear McFartnuggets: How come almost every killer has three names like John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, John Wayne Gacy, Charles Lee Ray, etc. Isn’t this a strange coincidence? Whenever I meet someone who uses three names I get nervous because I think there might […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do Most Killers Have Three Names?”There are some responsibilitiesrobots can’t handle yet. As artificial intelligence robots become more and more integrated into human life, it’s important to keep an eye on them. There are certain jobs that you can’t trust a robot to do and I know that may come off as sounding robotist, but it’s better to be safe […]
Read More The Top 5 Jobs You Shouldn’t Trust a Robot To DoTuesday or “Tyr’s day” wasnamed after the god of war. Dear McFartnuggets: To me, Monday is my least favorite day. I am curious about what is really the official worst day of the week? — Mukesh from Riverside, California Dear Mukesh: A lot of people hate Mondays, including the fictional cartoon cat Garfield. There’s even […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “What is The Worst Day of The Week?”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 