One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Bendy phones will be thenext big fad. Dear McFartnuggets: I got a new iPhone 6 Plus a week ago and I’ve noticed that it’s starting to bend a little from being in my pocket. Why is this happening? Is this normal? — Brent from Huntsville, Alabama Dear Brent: This is a fairly common issue people […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Does My iPhone 6 Bend?”Picking a good name is no promiseof success. But a bad name canscrew someone for life. With the fall and winter coming up, a lot of babies will be born from people boning in the springtime. Sometimes when you have a baby and you haven’t decided on a name you have to scramble to think […]
Read More The Top 10 Worst Baby Names of 2014Today, President Obama’s Director of the Secret Service, Julia Pierson gave her resignation to U.S. Homeland Security Secretary Jeh Johnson. Secretary Johnson’s grandfather was Charles S. Johnson, an American sociologist. While on a League of Nations mission to Liberia, Charles S. Johnson’s life was saved by a Liberian chief (documented in the book Bitter Canaan: […]
Read More Today’s Fun Fact! for October 1, 2014Baby mommy is actually whatyou call a baby who gave birth. Dear McFartnuggets: When urban people have babies they call the woman a “Baby mama” and they call the father a “Baby daddy.” But if you’ve got a baby mama shouldn’t you have a baby papa? Since mamas and papas go together. Or if you […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Shouldn’t It Be ‘Baby Mommy’ or ‘Baby Papa”?Sometimes you run into a person who claims to be “Super competitive.” They tell you about all the trophies they’ve won in their lives and they say “I’m uber competitive! I always try to win at everything! I HATE LOSING! I can’t stand it!” Really? You hate losing? Let me guess you also hate dying, […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “I Hate Losing”Having a common name can makeyou susceptible to identity theft andcheck fraud. Dear McFartnuggets: If I found a check made out to someone with exact same name as me could I cash or deposit it? How could they know it wasn’t me? — Bob from Dallas, Texas Dear Bob: I think that’s why you have to […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Can I Cash A Check Written Out To Someone With The Same Name As Me?”I suppose the most disturbing thing about this commercial is that it was literally one second away from showing a man viciously assaulting a woman who was clearly under the influence of some heavy narcotics. Thank god for the soothing powers of asspaper. If only these two bastards could have jammed their way into Ray […]
Read More Weird Road Rage TP Commercial From Hippie TimesCross section of a Blue Man’stesticle. Dear McFartnuggets: When will the Blue Man Group ever get laid? I mean I’ve heard of having blue balls before, but these guys are ridiculous. You know your balls are blue when you look like the blueberry bitch from “Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory.” — Noah from Charleston, […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Will The Blue Man Group Ever Get Laid?”There’s a popular anti-drug campaign out there that encourages kids to be “Above the influence.” It’s a play on the phrase “under the influence, but there’s a big problem with this phrase. If you’re trying to stop teenagers from getting high, don’t tell them to go even higher. If being on drugs is called “getting […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: "Above the Influence"Yeah, go ahead andlick that. Dear McFartnuggets: One of my friends invited me over to meet their new baby and I kissed it on the head and its head was all sweaty. Later on I found out the baby was adopted and had HIV. They rescued it from an orphanage and even though the baby […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Can I Get HIV From Kissing a Baby with HIV?”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 