One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Sometimes when you tell someone a joke or do an impression that they don’t like they’ll say “That’s so funny I forgot to laugh!” I really dislike this saying because it’s very insulting to people with Alzheimer’s Disease. They are the only people who would ever find something so funny that they forgot to laugh. […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “That’s So Funny I Forgot To Laugh”Ashley Judd movies aretypically not good sourcesof legal advice. Dear McFartnuggets: So I went to jail for public lewdness around Christmastime two years ago. I served my time and when I did it again last night I GOT ARRESTED AGAIN! How can this happen?! I kept telling the cops about Double Jeopardy. You can’t be […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Did I Get Arrested For The Same Crime Twice?”Sometimes a guy will run up to you and say “You’ve gotta try my grandmother’s veal! It’s out of this world!” Whoa, whoa whoa! First of all, who the hell are you? Second, so your grandmother’s veal tastes like space food? When I hear “Out of this world” I’m thinking otherworldly meaning residing in the […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Out of This World!”Whatever happened to realnicknames like Typhoid Mary? Have you ever met someone who goes by a nickname and you don’t understand how their name became a name? These days it seems like younger parents are naming their kids after Pokemon so in a few years this won’t be as much of an issue, but for […]
Read More 5 Shortened First Names That Make No SenseThe slogan for Lays potato chips is “Betcha can’t eat just one!” When people hear this they think “What a great slogan! It’s so true! You really can’t eat just one!” Yeah, that’s because you can’t eat just one of ANY SNACK FOOD. Are you stupid? Who the hell eats ONE peanut and just walks […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Betcha Can’t Eat Just One!”Making their planes easierto see is a start. With the recent disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 and the shooting down of Malaysia Airlines Flight 17, Malaysia Airlines is dealing with a serious decrease in business lately. Their company is in need of some extreme damage control if they want to repair their reputation and […]
Read More 3 Ways Malaysia Airlines Can Keep From Going Out of BusinessSometimes when people want to call you stupid they refer to you as “Numb nuts.” I never understood this. What is the link between intelligence and nerve sensors in the testicles? Is the idea that someone can be so stupid that their nervous system doesn’t function properly? I’m not sure that has any basis in […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Numb Nuts”Here are some absolutely outrageous commercials you won’t believe ever made it on TV. First off, a commercial from a time when Proctor & Gamble was giving away free steak knives with products like toothpaste, shampoo, and deodorant. Apparently the company had to get rid of a crapload of steak knives and thought this would […]
Read More Crazy Classic Banned Commercial Compilation From The 60’sHow about protectingplayers’ families? With the NFL coming under great scrutiny of late, there’s a lot of talk about the NFL’s “Shield” logo. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell always talks about “Protecting the shield” and protecting what it stands for. It’s a SHIELD. You don’t protect a shield. A shield is meant to protect YOU. No […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Protect The Shield”Never pass gas outof the shotgun. Dear McFartnuggets: Why is farting called passing gas? It’s not like passing a kidney stone or passing a test. It’s not difficult to fart. It takes minimal effort. It doesn’t hurt. In fact, most of the time “passing gas” is the last way I would try to describe my […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why is Farting Called Passing Gas?”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 