Dumbass Sayings: “I’ve Been Dancing Since I Was 2-Years-Old”

For some reason, a lot of cheerleaders, ballerinas, and strippers like to say “Dancing is my life! I’ve been dancing since I was 2-years-old!” What kind of dancing are you doing when you’re two-years-old exactly? You don’t know how to read and you’re doing choreographed dancing? Now I know reading and dancing have nothing to […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “Are There Conjoined Twin Dating Sites?”

No one’s better athooking up. Dear McFartnuggets: Are there conjoined twin dating sites? — Larry from Raleigh, North Carolina Dear Larry: None that I know of. You always hear about dating sites whether it’s Christianmingle or Blackpeoplemeet but you never hear about NoThirdWheel, or some site where conjoined twins can meet each other. I think […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do Rappers Always Say What Year it is?”

Rappers must be big “Jumanji”fans because they’re always answeringthe question “What year is it?!” Dear McFartnuggets: How come rappers always say what year it is in their songs? They always go “IT’S THE YEAR 2005, BITCHES!” What is the purpose of this? From what I can tell all it does is literally date their music […]

Dumbass Sayings: “Stray The Course”

Audi’s new slogan is “Stray the course” and in their commercial they talk about straying from convention to design a new car. However, “Stray the course” is probably not the best slogan for a CAR COMPANY. My uncle has been arrested three times for “straying the course” while driving drunk. With all this attention on […]

Dumbass Sayings: “An Historic Night”

For some reason the phrase “An historic night” has been accepted as a grammatically correct saying. Sometimes you’ll hear someone say “Tonight we ordered three midget strippers and a twelve foot party sub. Grandma is never going to forget this birthday! It’s going to be AN HISTORIC NIGHT!” That just doesn’t sound right. You wouldn’t […]

Dumbass Sayings: “Domestic Violence”

Football season is back which means domestic violence is back in discussion. “Domestic violence” is a flat out misleading term. A lot of people out there think if they beat up their girlfriend at a hotel it’s not “Domestic violence” because it didn’t technically happen at home in a domicile. Some people out there think […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “How Come No One Finds My Dreams As Interesting As I Do?”

How exciting could your dreams be if you’re sleeping through them? Dear McFartnuggets: Whenever I have a dream that’s really interesting and exciting I like to tell people about it, but what I keep finding is that when I’m telling them about the dream they start to get really bored. How can something so interesting to […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “Is it Rude to Talk to Someone on the Phone While You’re on the Toilet?”

That wasn’t a fart, I think it’s your connection… Dear McFartnuggets: I was talking to someone on the phone while I was taking a crap the other day and after they heard a turd they said “Are you on the toilet? GROSS! Then they hung up.” I had to call the job back and see if […]

5 New Versions of the Ice Bucket Challenge to Try

Is your bucket getting lonely? If you’re like me you’re always on the lookout for the newest charity challenges out there on social media. If you’re bored of the Ice Bucket Challenge then you might want to try these five fun new challenges to help raise money and awareness for charity: 1. The Dice Bucket […]

Dumbass Sayings: “Wage Garnishment”

When my credit card company called me the other day and said they would be “Garnishing my wages” I was confused. I said, “What type of garnish are you going to use? Parsley? Rosemary? Or will you make one of those tomato rose garnishes? Moolah doesn’t need garnishing. Why would you need to garnish my […]

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