One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Unicycles still have a goofystigma attached to them. Dear McFartnuggets: I’ve been thinking about a new way to get to work without a car or bicycle and I don’t want to walk so I guess that leaves me having to choose between a unicycle and a tricycle. I just want to know which one would look […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “What’s Less Stupid Looking a Unicycle or a Tricycle?”A closing has to fit thetone of the letter. One of the most difficult parts about writing a letter or email is figuring out how to end it. The salutation and actual body of the message can sometimes be a lot easier to think up than that little bit of crap right before your name […]
Read More The Top 5 Worst Ways to End a Letter or EmailThe biggest difference between manand mosquito? Mosquitoes don’t need tocall a doctor when they shit blood. Dear McFartnuggets: Long story short, my roommate has AIDS and lately we’ve been having mosquito problems. He keeps complaining about how many times he’s been bit and I’m really concerned that the mosquitoes that bit him will bite me […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Can I Get AIDS From a Mosquito?”When your grandpa had one too many drinks before going on his school bus route, your parents tell you “It’s time to take grandpa to the funeral home.” They actually call the place you bring dead people to be put in suits and coffins a “funeral home.” This always bothered me. Why would they call […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: "Funeral Home"Oh so NOW smartwatchesare cool? Dear McFartnuggets: Everyone’s so excited about the Apple iWatch except for me. I don’t understand why people really need a tiny iPhone on their wrist. They’re still going to have their iPhone anyway and their iPad and their iPad Mini and their iPod Touch and their MacBook Air and MacBook […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is The Apple iWatch Really Necessary?”Doctors recommend watching7 to 8 hours of golf a night. Dear McFartnuggets: Why do golf announcers always talk so low and soft? I don’t get it. It’s not like they’re anywhere near the golfers so if they talked at a normal volume or even louder it wouldn’t affect the game. If anything it would make […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do Golf Announcers Talk So Low?”A little hard to admire artwith a pantload of crap. Dear McFartnuggets: This is hypothetical question but if you were forced to choose between being blind and peeing your pants every day of your life or being deaf and pooping your pants every day of your life, which would you take? And no you can’t […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Would You Rather Be Blind and Pee Your Pants Everyday or Be Deaf and Crap Your Pants Everyday?”One of the most popular flavor sensations these days is “Pulled pork.” You can’t go anywhere these days without someone offering you some pulled pork. Do the people who make pulled pork know this is a slang term for masturbation? It’s not even a weird one like “milking the lizard” or “flogging the dolphin.” “Pulling […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Pulled Pork”I wonder what littleHimmler wanted to bewhen he grew up. When you’re raising a child you want them to aspire to be something great like a microbiologist, astronaut, or a vigilante crime fighter. However, not all children have the same lofty expectations for their lives as their parents do for them. In the end, you […]
Read More The Top 5 Professions You Never Want Your Child To Aspire ToSometimes when people try to motivate others to exercise they cite Newton’s First Law of Motion by saying “Come on let’s go jogging! A body in motion stays in motion!” They’re trying to say that once you start jogging it’s easy to keep going. The problem I have with people saying this is they clearly […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “A Body in Motion Stays in Motion!”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 