Ask McFartnuggets: “Will My Plants Become Healthier if I Talk to Them?”

Plants don’t have a lot of stories to tell, but they’re good listeners. Dear McFartnuggets: I just got a new garden and I want to treat my flowers and plants he best that I can. I heard that it’s helpful to talk to your plants. Is that true? What are the reasons for this? — Lisa from […]

Five More Fun Facebook Charity Video Challenges To Try

You really don’t see enoughnuns doing the ice bucketchallenge. If you loved the Ice Bucket Challenge and are looking for the next big viral video challenge then you’ve come to the right place. I’ve suggested a few others before, but the challenges keep coming. There are so many great ways to help raise awareness for […]

Dumbass Sayings: “Sleep Like a Baby”

Sometimes you’ll hear someone say something stupid like “Oh man I just slept like a baby!” What the hell is that really supposed to mean? You slept like a baby? So you woke up screaming at 3 AM and crying with a diaper full of shit? Did you piss your crib? Did you die of […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “What Is With All These Prequels These Days?”

I’ve always wanted to seeBatman fight dinosaurs. Dear McFartnuggets: Fox has a new Batman prequel show coming out called “Gotham” that follows Detective James Gordon before he becomes Commissioner back when Bruce Wayne is a little kid. Who really wants to watch this? Watching the story of how Batman became Batman is fine. That’d be […]

Dumbass Sayings: “Baby You’re a Firework”

The singer Katy Perry has a famous song called “Firework” in which she says “Baby, you’re a firework Come on let your colors burst Make them go, “EAAGHHHH EAAAUGHHHH EEEAAAAAAUGHHHH!” The main problem with this song is that being a firework isn’t a good thing. Fireworks are extremely short lived. Why would you want to […]

Ask McFartuggets: “Why Do People Drink Beer When They’re Thirsty?”

The ultimate thirst quenchermeaning the last, as in,you’ll die. Dear McFartnuggets: In beer commercials they always show people drinking beer when they’re all sweaty and thirsty. Does beer actually quench people’s thirst? I’m a jogger and I get dehydrated quickly so I’m wondering if drinking frosty beers instead of Gatorade would help? — Melinda from […]

Dumbass Sayings: “I’ve Never Had to Knock on Wood”

The Mighty Mighty Bosstones had a hit song in 1997 called “The Impression That I Get” in which the singer says “I’ve never had to knock on wood and I’m glad I haven’t yet because I’m sure it isn’t good.” The apparent message of the song is that the man has never had tragedies happen […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Does My Cat Always Show Me His Butthole?”

Cats are known for their eyesincluding their third eye. Dear McFartnuggets: My cat Jerome shows me his butthole every day since I got him a year ago. He never misses a DAY. Why does he do this? What does he think I’m supposed to be seeing there? I’ve looked more than a few times and […]

Dumbass Sayings: “Shits and Giggles”

Sometimes people say things like “Sorry we kidnapped your wife and sold her to a Malaysian sex trafficking ring, we just did it for shits and giggles.” What kind of excuse is that? Shits and giggles? I don’t know about you, but I find the act of defecation and laughter to be mutually exclusive. I […]

Three Idiotic Banned Commercials Most People Have Forgotten About

It’s always fun to go back and look at old commercials to see just how much things have changed. Life may be getting worse for everyone these days, but at least we don’t have people rubbing toilet paper on each other’s faces while drinking crappy coffee and playing nonsensical party games.

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