Ask McFartnuggets: “Whatever Happened to Erin Esurance?”

Dear McFartnuggets: Hey whatever happened to that pink haired chick from the Esurance commercials? Her name was Erin Esurance, remember her? Why’d she stop doing those commercials? She used to go around doing stunts wearing a black bodysuit. I really liked her. I liked her style. I kinda had a crush on her. Maybe I […]

Dumbass Sayings: “Holy Guacamole!”

Sometimes when the old lady at work accidentally catches you touching yourself in the broom closet she yells “HOLY GUACAMOLE!” Holy guacamole? I didn’t know Jesus was such a fan of Mexican food, but he must be because people also say “Holy frijoles!” That must be why so many people in Mexico are called Jesus. […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do People Care What Celebrities’ Net Worths Are?”

Now that people don’t wearmonocles it’s harder to tellwho’s really rich. Dear McFartnuggets: Whenever you do a search for a celebrity on Google one of autofill guesses is usually “(Celebrity’s name net worth) like “Alec Baldwin net worth” and underneath there’s “Alec Baldwin twitter” and “Alec Baldwin imdb”. What I want to know is why […]

The Top 10 Celebrities Who Will Probably Never Have Nude Photos Leak

Fortunately some celebritiesare off limits when it comes toleaked nudes. The thing that made the great nude celebrity photo leak of 2014 so notable was the list of women who had photos released was a veritable who’s who of poontang. No one knows when the next celebrity nude photo outbreak will occur, but we do […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do Gay Men Talk Silly, But Lesbians Don’t?”

Lesbians talk like men sothey’re taken more seriouslywhich is sexist against women. Dear McFartnuggets: I was just doing laundry today and giving my dog a bath when I started wondering how come gay men talk silly, but lesbians don’t? What is it about homosexual males that gives them that funny voice, but homosexual women are free of […]

Dumbass Sayings: “I Think, Therefore I Am”

Sayings like this are what’sgoing to give the robotsconfidence to destroy us all. The French philosopher Rene Descartes once said “Je pense, donc je suis” or “Cogito ergo sum” which in English means “I think, therefore I am.” This is a questionable proposition for one big reason. There is a possibility, however improbable, that human […]

3 Telling Signs That a Seemingly Normal Person is Completely Insane

Not all crazy peopleare this obvious. You know when you start talking to a person under the presumption they’re a normal mentally healthy person and then they turn out to be the opposite? It can be a pretty unpleasant experience. Fortunately there are ways you can spot a looney tune early on in the conversation […]

Ask McFartnuggets: "How Can I Make Sure I Give Birth to a Baby Girl?"

At this pointit’s too late. Dear McFartnuggets: It has always been my dream to have a daughter and now that I’m finally ready to become pregnant I want to make sure that dream comes true. I’ve read a lot of tips about how to change a baby’s gender and most of them have been debunked by […]

Dumbass Sayings: “Weekend Warrior”

For some reason people who work five days a week then drink and party on Saturday and Sunday are known as “Weekend warriors.” This is a really stupid phrase for a few reasons. First off, you’re just getting high and dancing at a club until late at night, that’s nothing like war. Getting blackout drunk […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “Are You Allowed to Write on Tiny Flags?”

Tiny flags are still flags. Dear McFartnuggets: Hey I know it’s not okay to write on full sized authentic American flags because it’s disrespectful, but what about those little tiny flags? Is it still wrong to write on those or is it okay because they’re not real flags? I mean they’ve got mini plastic staffs […]

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