One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
I hope it’s not this guy. Dear McFartnuggets: You know those DirecTV commercials with the marionette wife and her son who is also a puppet? They have puppet strings leading to the ceiling, but we never see the top of those strings. I’m wondering who controls them. Who pulls the strings on those puppet people? […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Who Controls The Puppet People on the DirecTV Commercials?”Why is the feces of apes and bats considered the craziest of all the fecal matter? If you’ve ever seen a homeless lady shitting on the bus before then you know that human shit is clearly the craziest. The only crazy thing about batshit is that they have to do it while hanging upside down, […]
Read More Dumbass Saying: “Apeshit/Batshit”Not THOSE troops! Dear McFartnuggets: People always say “God bless the troops overseas,” but that could mean any troops. People always say “God bless the troops in Afghanistan!” What if they mean the Afghanistan troops? You have to be more specific! Say “God bless OUR troops!” It’s a simple thing you can say to avoid […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Aren’t People More Specific When They Say God Bless The Troops Overseas?”Sometimes when you show up to work smiling some asshole will say “Well you’re in a happy mood!” Or “Looks like someone’s in a happy mood today!” What kind of pessimistic bullcrap is that? Yeah why wouldn’t I be? I’ll tell you why because there are assholes expecting me to be cranky all the damn […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: "Someone’s in a Good Mood Today!"There are a lot of other hot planets out there, but we have our own. Dear McFartnuggets: How come astronomers are always looking to space to find other planets? News flash. We already found one and it’s pretty damn awesome. It’s a good thing Earth isn’t aware of what’s going on otherwise I’m sure she would be […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "Why Do People Try to Find Other Planets?"Sometimes on commercials featuring a new exercise machine or weight loss method they’ll put a 70-year-old guy on there who says “I’m in the best shape of my life!” People are supposed to be impressed by this, but the older you get, the less impressive saying “I’m in the best shape of my life” is. […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “I’m in the Best Shape of My Life!”Watch out, Smurfs! Dear McFartnuggets: Have you ever noticed how those paper targets at gun ranges are almost always colored black? Isn’t that a little weird? Then we wonder why cops shoot unarmed Black kids! They’re being subconsciously trained to shoot at dark targets! Sure there are other forces at play when something like that happens, […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Have You Ever Noticed How Gun Range Targets Are Black?”Fan food is extrapopular around summer. Dairy Queen’s slogan is “This is fan food, not fast food” and they pretend like people know what that means. What the hell is “fan food”? Are they talking about food created with the use of a fan like whipped cream or something? Are they talking about food for […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: ”This is Fan Food, Not Fast Food”You pour water on the headbecause ALS happens in the brain. The Ice Bucket Challenge is now famous for raising awareness for Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, but it’s also unknowingly raising awareness for some other causes. When you think about it, there’s really no logical connection between ALS and dumping ice water over your head. It’s […]
Read More 3 Causes The Ice Bucket Challenge is Unknowingly Raising Awareness ForUnless you want your catlooking like this, ya betterkeep it away from that AIDS. Dear McFartnuggets I just got a cat and I’m worried about this thing the Feline AIDS. I got Shelby (my cat) tested and it was the most nervewracking couple of days waiting for those test results to come back. Fortunately she […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "How Can I Keep My Cat From Getting Feline AIDS?"
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 