One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Everyone has had a moment in their life when they introduce themselves to someone and that person says “You look like a (your name).” People are always amazed by this perceived phenomenon and some people even believe some folks’ names are preordained by fate. The problem with this is we never see an alternate universe […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: "You Look Like a Steve…"Folgers was advertising it to be so good that people were actually making love to it. Then they released a shocking bit of advice that people were reluctant to take seriously. They said you could eat the coffee. At the time people figured eating and insufflating the Folgers instant coffee crystals could benefit your health. […]
Read More Crazy Old Folgers Coffee Commercial From The Annals of AdvertisingHaving the bottom of the boatpainted a different color canhelp visibility if your boat tips over. Dear McFartnuggets: Isn’t it stupid to paint boats white? When they tip over and capsize in the ocean it’s harder to find them because the foam on rough, stormy water is white too. Why would people paint their boat […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "Why Are Nearly All Boats White?"Even if your baby literallyonly has one eye. Namingit One-Eye is still not agood idea. Giving birth to a baby is one of the most thrilling moments in a man’s life, but even more important than giving birth is making sure the baby has a proper name. The thing about names is what’s popular one […]
Read More The Top 7 Worst Names to Give to a Baby Girl in 2014Everyone talks about “Beast mode” and how being a “Beast” is a positive thing. It’s gotten to the point where people tell me my girlfriend is a beast and I don’t know whether it’s a compliment or an insult. I remember back in the old days when calling someone a beast was a bad thing. […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: "Beast Mode"A true alcoholic doesn’tcare about calories. Fear McDartnuggets: I keep seeing commercials for light beer and I just don’t understand it. Who the hell wants beer with fewer calories? If you’re drinking enough beer to be concerned with the caloric intake then there’s a good chance you’re a fat drunk in the first place and […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "What is the Point of Light Beer?"Sometimes your uncle will be telling you a story about their vacation in Orlando and say some crap like “So the escort came into the room and LO AND BEHOLD it was actually a transvestite!” What’s this “Lo and behold” talk? You’re not a character in The Bible. Cool it with the ancient talk, alright? […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Lo and Behold”Dear McFartnuggets: I’m in a movie theater right now and thinking about walking out because the movie is so god awful. I really shouldn’t have paid for the ticket and I’m regretting it now. What is an excuse I can use to get a refund? — Abigail from Washington D.C Dear Abigail: First off, what […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "How Can I Get Refunded For Walking Out of a Movie?"When a new TV series comes out the commercial will usually say “Catch the first episode online now or on Hulu on demand!” Let’s be clear about something, you can’t “catch” a show online. You can catch it on live television because it’s playing with or without you and in order to see it you […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Catch The First Episode Online!”Having your leg be aninsomniac is actuallya good thing. Dear McFartnuggets: My right leg hasn’t fallen asleep in almost a whole year. My left leg sleeps pretty normally. I haven’t seen my right leg sleeping ever. Does that mean my right leg is an insomniac? Does this count as Restless Leg Syndrome? What should I […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is My Leg An Insomniac?”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 