One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Sometimes you’ll be fighting someone in a dark alleyway or making love to someone in a dark alleyway and they’ll scream “I CAN’T BREATHE!” At face value this is a horrible thing to say and if someone said it you would immediately rush to their aid. The only problem is it’s a lie. If you […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “I Can’t Breathe”Soup kitchens are greatbut they’ve been done. Sometimes in life you want to help other people who are struggling through hard times. Well there’s no one struggling harder than people who have no place to live. Maybe you want to help the homeless, but want to do it in a unique way that isn’t done […]
Read More Five Awesome Things You Can Do to Help the Homeless That No One Ever DoesNever underestimatethe senses of a shark. Dear McFartnuggets: I was peeing in the ocean the other day at the beach and my friend told me I shouldn’t because urine attracts sharks. Is this true? — Linda from Manhattan Beach, California Dear Linda: The science is a bit cloudy on this topic, but based on anecdotal […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Are Sharks Attracted to Urine?”When people say “Persona au gratin” I think they’re confusing it with the phrase “Persona non grata” which means “an unwelcomed person” and mixing it with the culinary dish “Potatoes au gratin” which consists of scalloped potatoes with a browned cheese crust. There is a chance it could mean “fancy, rich person” considering “le gratin” […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Persona Au Gratin”Who wouldn’t want towatch a child’s life?Riveting. Dear McFartnuggets: “The Truman Show” was a show about a real man’s life being documented 24/7 without his knowledge and it started from his birth, but what I want to know is how it managed to last as long as it did. Those first five seasons or so […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Did The Truman Show Not Get Cancelled Early On?”Those special mirrors that you see on TV police shows during interrogation scenes are usually called “one way mirrors.” What makes this confusing is they’re also sometimes called “two way mirrors.” Even more confusing is the fact that neither term really makes sense when you think about it. A “one way mirror” could be a […]
Read More Dumbass Saying: “One Way Mirror/Two Way Mirror”Sleepfarts are why Inever sleep on planes. Dear McFartnuggets: I have a vacation coming up overseas and I’m really afraid of flying. I’m not scared of flying because of the usual reasons, I’m scared because I have a problem farting in my sleep. I do it a lot. I always avoid flying because I know […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Can I Stop Farting in My Sleep?”Elbows are the mostoffensive of joints. Dear McFartnuggets: I was eating dinner at my grandma’s house last night and every time she always yells at me for putting my elbows on the table. I finally asked her why I shouldn’t do that and she said “It’s rude. It’s bad manners!” Then I asked her why […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why is it Considered Rude to Have Your Elbows on a Table?”There just aren’t enoughstand-up guys around. When someone’s a nice guy who helps carry old ladies up stairs and helps old men cross the street they call him a “Stand up guy.” What kind of phrase is this? Stand up guy? Who isn’t a stand up guy? Everyone stands. There’s nothing special about standing. All […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Stand Up Guy”Don’t ever takethis many Viagras. Dear McFartnuggets:Everyone keeps telling me that I need to call a doctor if I experience a woody lasting longer than four hours. Are they serious? Cause I’ve had lots of woodies that lasted longer than four hours and never called a doctor and I think I’m okay. Also what kind […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Should I Really Call a Doctor When I Have a Woody Longer Than Four Hours?”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 