One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
In the new famous Dos Equis beer commercials, The Most Interesting Man in the World says “I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis.” That’s great, it’s become a famous ad campaign, but the whole point of it is completely ridiculous. Why the hell would I take beer advice from […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “I Don’t Always Drink Beer, But When I Do I Prefer Dos Equis”Dear McFartnuggets: I’m a lazy who loves me some cats. Many people have accused me of being a “Crazy cat lady” and I like to jokingly refer to myself as one, but recently my family held an intervention for me. They told me my cat addiction has gotten out of control and it’s damaging my life. […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Many Cats Does it Take to Make You a Crazy Cat Lady?”This ad was really one of the first bread commercials to ever deal with the concept of the afterlife. Needless to say it freaked a lot of people out, but it did lead to an increase in sales thanks to children wanting their souls to live on after they passed away.
Read More Horrifying Old Banned Sunbeam Bread Commercial From The 50’sWhenever your friends and family are at home doing crack cocaine they always ask if you want to try some. When you politely decline your uncle says “What’s the matter? Afraid you might like it?!” Yes! Yes I am afraid I might like it. That’s the whole point of not taking crack cocaine. If I […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “What’s The Matter? Afraid You Might Like It?”That kid on the left isold as hell. Dear McFartnuggets: Why does ESPN play the Little League World Series? It’s just young boys playing baseball. Who wants to see this? Why not show elementary school basketball tournaments too? Why not show little girls playing baseball too? I’m sure these kids are talented, but televised sports […]
Read More Ask McFartunggets: “Why is The Little League World Series Shown on TV?”Sometimes you walk in on your co-worker fisting the office pet parakeet he looks at you very plainly and says “Hey, don’t knock it til you’ve tried it!” Don’t knock it til you’ve tried it? That sounds like a failed doorbell slogan. Doorbells, don’t knock it til you’ve tried it! Also you don’t have to […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Don’t Knock it Til You’ve Tried it”Dear McFartnuggets: Let me start by saying I have an extraordinarily large porn collection, sir. It is vast and thorough ranging from A to Z or Anal to Zoo to be more accurate. Back in my 30’s I had a plan to get rid of it all, but that’s when the internet started getting popular […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is It Weird to Pass Down My Porn Collection in My Will?”When people eat something they’re enjoying they sometimes say “Nom nom nom.” This is fun to do when you’re alone, but you should never say this when you’re eating in public. The reason is, you never know when there might be a military veteran around. “Nom nom nom” sounds basically exactly like “Nam Nam Nam” […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Nom Nom Nom”Meet the food ofthe future. Everyone knows that insects are the food source of the future. They’re abundant, they require less agriculture and farming than plants and animals, and they’re a great source of vitamins, fiber, and protein. The only problem is the public at large is very uncomfortable with the idea of eating creepy […]
Read More 3 Easy Ways to Get The General Public to Eat InsectsEvery year around Christmastime, the gas station known as Hess sells a toy truck that absentee fathers can quickly purchase for their son while filling up their pickup. In the commercial they have children singing “The Hess Truck’s back and it’s better than ever!” sung to the tune of “My Boyfriend’s Back” which doesn’t make […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “The Hess Truck’s Back and it’s Better Than Ever”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 