One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Talking like a toddlerwon’t make youyounger. For some reason women at work always love talking about their “Hubsies.” This is the word they use for “Husband.” They show you photos and say “This is me and my hubsy at the animal shelter euthanizing rescue kittens” or “This is me and hubby dumping the body of […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Hubby/Hubsy” and “Wifey”If you’re lucky, you onlysee clowns in yournightmares. A lot of people are frightened of clowns these days. No one is really sure why. Maybe it’s because they have a smile painted on so you’re tricked into thinking they’re happy when they’re staring at you with a blank face. Maybe it’s the thought of “Who […]
Read More The Top 5 Worst Places To Find A Clown“Bae: Pig in the City” Dear McFartnuggets: Maybe you can help clear this up. Me and my friend have been arguing over what “Bae” means. My friend says it’s the Danish word for “poop” and I think it means “Before anyone else.” What does this word really mean? — Paul from Olympia, Washington Dear Paul: […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “What The Hell Does ‘Bae’ Mean?”Asking an alcoholic how they are can be a very long conversation. Sometimes people walk by your desk at work and say “How are you?” like it’s a substitute for “hello.” By the time I’m ready to give them an answer they’ve already walked away. If you really care to know how I am then you […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “How Are You?”Taming the gag reflexis fighting generationsof evolution. Dear McFartnuggets: What are some things I can do to get rid of my gag reflex? I want to be good at porns. — Joanna from Arlington, Texas Dear Joanna: Okay first off, it’s not called “porns” with an ‘s’ at the end, it’s just “porn.” Second, you […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Can I Get Rid of My Gag Reflex?”Whether a stereotype is negative or not is a matter of perspective. Saying you do something “like a girl” is generally taken as an insult, but there are some actions that are actually best performed “like a girl.” People always focus on the negative stereotypes of women when they should be focusing on the positive stereotypes. Here […]
Read More The Best Things To Do “Like A Girl”Why you make commentme no like? Dear McFartnuggets: Why do you always post comments on YouTube videos? Are you some kind of attention whore or something? I used to think your comments were funny, but it’s getting really annoying to see your dumb clown face all the time on every single video I watch! Why […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do You Always Post Comments on YouTube Videos?”When you wake up after being blackout drunk the night before sometimes you’ll notice your wallet that had 200 dollars in it is now empty. You start trying to remember what happened and you get an image of a whore lady. One of your friends who was at the hotel room tells you that you […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Laughing All The Way To The Bank”Human hair is a greatsource of protein. Dear McFartnuggets: Why do people get grossed out when they find a hair in their food? It’s just a hair. There’s no diseases you can get by eating someone’s hair. I work at a restaurant and whenever someone finds a hair in their soup they want to return […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do People Get Disgusted When There’s Hair in Their Food?”It’s tricky to position your balls in the sink. When it comes to human hygiene there are certain places on our bodies that we tend to all neglect. George Carlin once said “You must only wash the four key areas: Armpits, asshole, crotch, and teeth.” That may be true to achieve plain survival, but if you […]
Read More Five Places on the Human Body That Most People Never Wash
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 