One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Make sure to bring plentyof books for the baby to eat. Dear McFartnuggets: My best friend just had a baby and he keeps telling me to come see it, but I don’t want to see it. I’m not a huge fan of babies. I don’t understand why I need to go and see it. The […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Should I Go See My Friend’s Baby?”Or if you’re English,don’t get caught with yourhand in the biscuit tin. When you get arrested by a highway patrolman in your car with a prostitute people at work say you got “Caught with your hand in the cookie jar.” Why is this still a saying? Who keeps their cookies in a jar anymore? And […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Caught with Your Hand in the Cookie Jar”Before you resume writingyour resume, make sure noneof these things are one it. A lot of people are writing and updating their resumes these days. When you’re fixing a resume up it’s important that you know what’s okay and what’s not okay to write on the paper. Even the slightest mistake can ruin your chances […]
Read More The Top 5 Things You Should NEVER Put on Your ResumeHobos love trainsmaybe a little too much. Dear McFartnuggets: I was on the train on my way to work the other day and a homeless got on board and started touching himself in a romantic manner. I froze in panic and fear as did everyone else. I was totally paralyzed and couldn’t even move to […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "What Should I Do When a Homeless Person Masturbates?"When a person’s car won’t start in the parking lot after a bad day at work they’ll usually say something like “This is the last thing I need right now!” Of course they’re not being entirely honest with that saying. The LAST thing you would need is for someone to put a chainsaw in your […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “This is the Last Thing I Need Right Now!”David Copperfield and VladimirPutin are really ruining MalaysiaAirlines’ image here. Dear McFartnuggets: Now that Malaysian Airlines has lost two planes in about half a year isn’t it time that they just close up shop and admit they’re not so great at this whole “Transporting people through the sky in flying metal birds” thing? Who in […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Should Malaysian Airlines Just Stop and Go Out of Business?”Sometimes people will say some crap like “Traveling to the Grand Canyon and making love to that hooker was an incredible life experience.” ALL experiences are life experiences. Why do you add the word “life” in there? Do you not want to confuse people about your vital signs at the time? Obviously you were alive, […]
Read More Dumbass Saying: “Life Experience”The yarmulke is nota beanie. Dear McFartnuggets: I was at baseball game recently and before the national anthem the public address announcer instructed everyone to remove their hats and stand for the “Star Spangled Banner.” Well apparently everyone got the message except this one guy who kept his little beanie on his head. He stood […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "Guy Wouldn’t Take Off His Beanie During National Anthem?"You don’t shake babies.You just DON’T. Dear McFartnuggets: We all know it’s not okay to shake babies because it leads to shaken baby syndrome. My question is when does shaken baby syndrome stop? At what age is it okay to start shaking Children? — Noelle from Mobile, Alabama Dear Noelle: Of course there is no […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "At What Age is it Okay to Start Shaking Children?Unless you’re a time traveleryou have to take things one dayat a time. A popular cliche that people use when they’re recovering from a tragedy or some other difficult situation is “I’m just taking things one day at a time.” That’s great and I’m glad you’re recovering from what happened and the healing process is […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: "Taking Things One Day At A Time"
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 