One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
A mini person wouldbe like the kids from“Honey I Shrunk The Kids,”NOT dwarfs. Dear McFartnuggets: I went into a store advertised as a “Mini Mart”and when I got in I discovered to my dismay that there was nary a single dwarf in all the store. How goes this misleading trickery? — Sandy from Cleveland Dear […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "How Come There Are No Dwarfs at a Mini Mart?"Apparently being NativeAmerican can substitute fora plush costume these days. Dear McFartnuggets: I’m at a baseball game right now and we have seats right behind the dugout. I thought they would be great seats except the home team mascot is using the roof of the dugout as his little stage area. He’s doing cartwheels and […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "What Should I Do When A Mascot is Blocking My View?"Leave people’s holes alonewhen they’re sleeping. When someone is sleeping, especially with their mouth agape it may be tempting to put various items or objects in their mouth. This is not a recommended activity however due to the risk of choking. There may be some things that are okay to put I’m someone’s mouth when […]
Read More Worst Things To Put in Someone’s Mouth When They’re Sleeping“Free money? What gives?”“Me, dumbass.” Sometimes when you come to work drunk without pants on, the receptionist Janine will say “What gives?” What kind of question is that? What gives? I don’t know? Charities? Santa? People who volunteer at soup kitchens? Our troops overseas? Those are things that give. Yet, when you give those answers […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “What Gives?”Not every discovery isa Eureka moment. Have you ever wondered about certain discoveries and thought “How did someone realize you could do that? Only a freaking weirdo would have discovered that!” Well there are quite a few discoveries like that and fortunately there were some freaks to make those discoveries and they helped make life […]
Read More The Greatest Discoveries That Probably Shouldn’t Have Been MadeCharmin really didn’t think this t-shirt offer thing out very well. That would probably explain why the offer was for such a limited time. I give them credit for trying something new. America just wasn’t ready to wear shirts with toilet paper companies on them. Is there any way to look like more of an […]
Read More Scary and Confusing TV Commercials From Decades AgoDear McFartnuggets: Is it true that dogs can see in colour? If so what colours can they see?– Bethany from Manchester, UK Dear Bethany: Dog eyes have more rods than human eyes which lets them see better in dark light, but they have fewer cones than humans and those are what help us see color. […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Can Dogs See in Color?”Formal attire and incestgo hand in hand. When you’re playing a recreational league softball game in the park and the game ends in a 2-2 tie, Eddie from your team comes up and says “A tie is like kissing your sister!” Why the hell do people say this? Tying should not be compared to incest. […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “A Tie is Like Kissing Your Sister”Exhilarating. Dear McFartnuggets: Hey why is golf such a popular sport? All you do is hit a tiny ball with a stick then slowly chase after it and try to hit it into a tiny hole. It’s like billiards except on a giant football field. Who the hell thinks that’s a good way to spend their […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why is Golf So Popular?”You can’t just chillanywhere you want. One of the greatest pleasures in life is to sit down and relax. You’re probably sitting right now. However, it’s not always relaxing to sit. It depends what you’re sitting on. Before you make that decision to take a load off and put your buttcheeks on a flat surface, […]
Read More The Top 5 Worst Places To Sit
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 