One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Shhh! He’s sleeping. Dear McFartnuggets: Have you ever noticed how Sunday is part of the “weekend”? How is that even possible? Sunday is the first day of a new week so how the heck can it be part of the weekend? It should be the first day of the weekstart! Shouldn’t Friday and Saturday be […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why is Sunday Part of the Weekend When it’s the First Day of the Week?”They say “If you love something you gotta let it go and if it comes back that’s how you know.” That doesn’t make much sense. If I love something then I love something and that’s good. Why do I have to let something go? That’s idiotic. I used to think this saying was true until […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “If You Love Something, Let it Go”Sometimes you just needto let out a good cry. When you’re an adult there aren’t many places it’s acceptable to break down and have a hard cry. A few examples of places where you can are funerals, emergency rooms, family court, and retirement homes. When you’re not in any of those places, crying can be […]
Read More The Top 5 Worst Places To Break Down and CryYou don’t see too manyobese Indian people. Dear McFartnuggets: Have you ever noticed that whenever you see a chess master it’s always some skinny nerdy guy like Bobby Fischer or Garry Kasparov. You never see an obese chess grandmaster. How come that is? I mean it’s not like chess requires any athleticism so there’s really […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Aren’t There Any Fat Chess Players?”I don’t believe “Fluffer”is the technical term. Dear McFartnuggets: I absolutely love teddy bears and recently was let go of my office job and now I’m thinking maybe this is an opportunity given to me by god to do what I really love. I want to work at a Build-A-Bear workshop and I want to […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Do I Apply to Be a Fluffer at Build-A-Bear Workshop?”Yeah, who wouldn’twanna lick THAT?! When your Uncle James sees the family dog licking his testicles he usually says “Hey if I could lick my own nuts I’d never leave the house!” Really? You’d NEVER leave the house? You’d just lay on the bed all day with your laptop ordering your necessities to be delivered […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “If I Could Lick My Own Nuts I’d Never Leave The House”If you’re worried about swallowingyour tongue, just get a bunch ofridiculous piercings. Dear McFartnuggets: Whenever I see someone having a seizure everyone is telling them not to swallow their tongue. I’m wondering if it’s actually possible to do this? How can someone swallow their own tongue? — Charlotte from New Hampshire Dear Charlotte: Yes it […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is it Possible to Swallow My Own Tongue?”When someone is talking to you about their vacation and how well their kids are doing in school you might start to do the jerkoff hand gesture and try to look back at your brain as if to silently say “Can you believe this douchebag?” to yourself. That’s when the person usually says “Stop rolling […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Rolling Your Eyes”Dear McFartnuggets: Sometimes at military funerals they will have a flyover of military jets to honor the deceased soldiers. Then they also do the same thing at football games like the Super Bowl. Isn’t this disrespectful to the deceased veterans? Why is this honor that is paid to the men who have sacrificed their lives […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Are There Military Flyovers At Sporting Events?”Eyeballs aren’t meant to pop. Sometimes you’ll see an advertisement for a store offering “Eye-popping savings!” Is this supposed to attract people? I don’t want my eyes to pop! When your eyes explode that’s not a good thing. That’s an effect of some severe problems like a cornea split. Unless your head is being literally […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Eye-Popping Savings”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 