One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
No this is not the world’sworst midget harp. Dear McFartnuggets: Why do they call it “Dental floss”? How many other kinds of floss are there? It’s not like you go to the store and ask for floss and they say “Okay uhh WHICH KIND? Ya gotta be more specific here!” Why would they name it […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do They Call It Dental Floss? What Other Types of Floss Are there?”What some peoplewill do for beauty. While Mattel has been pressured into making average looking Barbies to avoid giving young girls body image issues, cell phone companies are pushing technology to make phones thinner and thinner. Every ad for new cell phones is bragging about how much thinner they are than the previous version. Everyone […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Thin is Beautiful”Pubes are curly fora reason! Dear McFartnuggets: I know some charities accept hair to make wigs for cancer patients and I think that is a great cause. I really want to give to these charities. The problem I’m having is I am bald. On the other side, my pubic hair is very, very, very long. […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Can I Donate Pubic Hair to Charity If I Straighten it First?”Why do I need a magazinewhen I’m seeing the shitRIGHT NOW?! Whenever you see a commercial for some new prescription drug that helps make your periods less severe or helps your dog maintain an erection, at the bottom of the screen it says “See our ad in Conde Nast Traveler” or “See our ad in […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “See Our Ad in _____”When you grow up you can’t work in the coal mine anymore. You don’t really know how good you have things as a child until you’re an adult. At that point all you can do is envy your past self and wish you took advantage of all the opportunities children are given that adults aren’t. There […]
Read More The Top 5 Things You Can No Longer Do As An AdultJust look at all thosegood intentions! When you’re hosting a birthday party for your 7-year-old with all his friends and you put a pet tarantula in every child’s goody bag as a fun surprise the police will tell you “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Okay, look, I get that it was […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions”Some people will talkforever if you let them. When you’re sitting in a room with a bunch of people awaiting the results or your colonoscopy you might not be in the mood to talk. A lot of people in this world love nothing more than to talk up a storm with strangers like they believe […]
Read More The Top 5 Ways To Get People Not To Talk To YouIt doesn’t take much for a womanto look better than a man. Dear McFartnuggets: It seems like in nearly every commercial with a husband and wife the husband is always an average looking dude and the wife is hot. Sometimes the wife isn’t even hot, but she’s always a lot better looking than the husband. […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Come on TV Commercials the Husband Is Always Ugly and the Wife is Hot?”At least look me in the eyeswhen you’re breaking upwith me, you cold bitch. Sometimes when you’re out to dinner with your girlfriend at TGIFriday’s she’ll put her hand on yours and say “I think it’s time we see other people. It’s not you, it’s me.” Seriously? What kind of horsecrap is that? Of course […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “It’s Not You, It’s Me”Getting this high can be very dangerous. Ever since the “Mythbusters” did a show disproving the myth that a penny dropped off the top of the Empire State Building could kill someone, everyone seems to think it’s okay to chuck shit off the Empire State Building. So maybe a penny won’t land on someone’s head […]
Read More The Top 5 Worst Things To Drop Off The Empire State Building
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 