Dumbass Sayings: “Busting Your Chops”

At least you’re notchopping my chops. When you’re at school and you find out your parents just died sometimes other students will start laughing and making fun of how you’re an orphan. Then when you start crying they say “Hey man, calm down. We were just busting your chops!” Busting my chops? What the hell […]

The Top 5 Benefits To Having Bad Allergies

There are some benefitsto being allergic to plant sperm. A lot of people are allergic to pollen because it’s basically plant semen. Nature doesn’t want you to get pregnant with a tree baby so you react negatively to this. If you have bad allergies you know how uncomfortable all that sneezing and excess tear and […]

Dumbass Sayings: “I Love My Wife And Kids!”

Whenever you’re talking to one of your married friends he always says “I love my wife and kids, man. I love them!” That’s all well and good, but the more you say it, the more it sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself rather than just stating an obvious fact. Every man is supposed to […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “Are Narwhals and Unicorns Related?”

Dear McFartnuggets: Narwhals look like whales with long horns and unicorns are horses with long horns so are narwhals and unicorns related in anyway? — Trayshaun from Queens, New York Dear Trayshaun: Good questions. What we do know is that beluga whales are related to narwhals and they look like narwhals without the horn. Unicorns […]

Dumbass Sayings: “If You Want Something Done Right You Have To Do It Yourself”

Here’s one example ofhow this saying is wrong. Sometimes when you’re at a strip club watching some fat pregnant whore dance badly on stage you mutter to yourself “If you want something done right you gotta do it yourself!” and then you try to jump on stage to dance and get beat half to death […]

The Top 5 Worst foods To Give To The Homeless

There are some foods youjust shouldn’t give to people. It’s always a nice gesture to give food to the homeless, however there are some foods that are better to donate than others. For example giving a homeless person a pizza or a hamburger would be great because those are filling and easy to eat foods. […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Is It Embarrassing When You See Someone Wearing The Same Thing?”

Yeah keep staring, bitch.You know I look better in blue. Dear McFartnuggets: I was at a party the other night and this one girl was wearing the same exact dress I was and I felt really sick to my stomach. For some reason I wanted to eliminate her. I wanted to take her and stuff […]

Three of The Most Ludicrous Commercials Banned From TV

These are some creep ass commercials. First of all this woman is smelling a handful of poop and doesn’t even realize it? What did you think it was, ma’am? Don’t act so shocked! We’ve all accidentally brushed our teeth with Preparation-H before, but it’s so wrong to see a kid doing it. Keep your H […]

Dumbass Sayings: “You Leave A Lot To Be Desired”

Sorry I’m not a love letterfrom your dead husband. Sometimes when you’re at a parent teacher meeting for your son the teacher will say “Your son leaves a lot to be desired.” You say, “Good! I’m glad! You shouldn’t be desiring him to begin with! This is a school, you freak!” Then they say “It’s […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do I Have The Urge To Smell Stinky Things?”

Fingers smell funny. Dear McFartnuggets: How come whenever I put my finger up my butt I always want to smell it? It’s like an addiction. I can’t put my finger in my butt and not sniff it. I want to know why this happens? I also sniff my own armpits and my sweaty socks. I […]

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