One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
If you want to tear thehouse down, choosing theright song is critical. When you go to sing karaoke the songs you choose will make or break the evening. There are certain songs that are guaranteed to bring the house down and allow you to achieve legendary karaoke status. Practice these songs and when the time […]
Read More The Top 5 Best Songs To Sing KaraokeI guess shouldn’t expect alcoholics to make sense. When some creepy guy at the club hands you a drink he usually says “Drink up!” while watching to see if you drink it because he’s clearly put a roofie in it. Drink up? How the hell is that a saying? Think about that for a second. Drink […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Drink Up”Grandpa – Pants = Awkward Dear McFartnuggets: Ever since our 90-year-old grandpa moved into our house he’s been walking around completely naked. Whenever we try to put him in clothes he just takes them off and there’s nothing we can do about it! It’s really embarrassing when I have company over because we try to […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “My Grandpa Likes To Walk Around Naked?”When was the last time youmet someone named Cleopatraor Sneferu? It’s amazing that we live in a world where you can literally name your kid anything that isn’t a curse word or numbers and yet people always choose one of the same couple dozen standard names out there. Odds are you know at least one […]
Read More The Top 10 Most Overused First NamesIf you can hover highenough, go for it. Dear McFartnuggets: I hate using public bathrooms and I need some help here. I figure you’re an expert on bowel movementation so here it goes. If I get into the bathroom and see a toilet seat covered with diarrhea spray and peepee is it better to hover […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is it Better to Hover Over the Toilet Seat or Cover it?”Wait sorry that’san avocado. When someone says “Let me play devil’s advocate” that basically means “Let me be an asshole.” It means they’re going to take an adversarial stance on a topic even if they agree with the shit just for the sake of argument. So when you say “Hey let’s go get sushi” some […]
Read More Dumbass Saying: “Let Me Play Devil’s Advocate”“Sorry kids, I’m late for work.” Sometimes a random stranger will ask you for help on the street when you’re running late to work or on the way to an important meeting and you don’t have time to help them. You’d like to help them, but sometimes it’s just not possible. When this happens it’s […]
Read More The 5 Best Ways To Politely Avoid Helping Someone On The StreetMake sure to have plentyof Clonidine. Dear McFartnuggets: My wife is in her final trimester of pregnancy and we’re expecting a baby around June 20th. I have Tourette Syndrome so I’m a little worried that if I’m in the room when she’s giving birth that could be an issue. I have the type of tic […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is it Okay For Someone with Tourette Syndrome to Be in the Room For a Child Birth?”Here’s one of the oldest commercials ever made. I apologize for the quality, but what the hell do you expect? This is from 1930 or some shit. Things really weren’t THAT different back then. Black and white is very misleading.
Read More One of the Oldest Deodorant Commercials Known To ManHow can you follow somethinghappening in your brain? Guidance counselors in schools always tell kids “Follow your dreams” and approximately 99% of those kids never grow up to achieve anything. Why is that? Because “Following your dreams” is pure horsecrap. Why would you follow your dreams? That’s creepy. You shouldn’t tell kids to follow their […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Follow Your Dreams”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 