One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Dear McFartnuggets: This young woman who is friends with my daughter called me “Ratchet” the other day. I went to Urban Dictionary, but I couldn’t understand a damn word of the definitions. Can you please explain to me what this word “Ratchet” means to kids these days? I can’t make heads nor tails of it! […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “What Does ‘Ratchet’ Mean?”There are a few placesyou really don’t wantrazor burn. Unless you’re a hippie or hobo or a hobo hippie, there’s a good chance you shave the hair off your body in certain areas. There are socially appropriate places to shave yourself like your face and to a lesser extent, your legs, but there are a […]
Read More The Top 5 Weirdest Places To Shave YourselfWhat do women have against moisture? Dear McFartnuggets: I’ve discovered that women generally don’t like the word “moist.” Whenever I say it around them they get uneasy and think I’m some kind of pervert just because I was using a normal word used to describe wetness. I’m not even talking about vaginas. Let’s be clear. […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do Women Hate The Word ‘Moist’ So Much?Do I come to where you work and take the words out of your mouth? Whenever you’re at Sea World and you say “Wow! That dolphin show was a breathtaking exhibition of raw wonderment encapsulated in majesty and childlike wonder!” some old lady sitting near you will say “You took the words right out of my mouth!” […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Took The Words Right Out of My Mouth”Robert Cornelius was takingselfies before it was cool. Dear McFartnuggets: I keep hearing people say that taking selfies is no longer a dope thing to do. Is this true? Is the selfie dead? — Sharonica from Brooklyn Dear Sharonica: Sadly, yes. The “selfie” has reached the end of its popularity. When things get too popular […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is It No Longer Popular To Take Selfies?”Unless I’m giving you a piggy back ride, you don’tgot my back. When you’re hanging out with a bunch of your homies from da hood playing soccer and you accidentally kick the ball at an old lady sitting on a nearby bench sometimes she’ll get hit in the head by that ball and get really angry […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “I Got Your Back”A lot of homeless peoplewill be very weary of strange gifts. They have to trust you. Most gifts to a homeless person are unexpected, but that doesn’t mean you can’t go even more unexpected. The best gifts are unexpected so why give a homeless person something that they could predict like a sandwich or soap? […]
Read More The Top 5 Best Unexpected Gifts To Give To A Homeless PersonBoris Yeltsin loved to fart. Dear McFarnuggets: Why do people say “Haha” when they laugh? It’s not like you have to say that every time you laugh. — Shannon from Livingston, Zambia Dear Shannon: That’s an interesting question. I did some research and it turns out the phrase “Ha-ha” dates back before the 12th century […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do People Say “Haha” When They Laugh?Don’t bring your A game inbaseball. When your son is pitching in the little league championship sometimes the coach will have a personal meeting with your boy before the game and scream “Bring your A game! BRING YOUR A GAME! BRING YOUR FUCKING AYYYYY GAAAAAAME!!!” at him repeatedly and you have to take your son […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Bring Your A Game”Dear McFartnuggets: Why come does summer is longer than the winters and springs? — Dillon from Texas Dear Dillon: Despite the fact there are about 90 days of each season, Summer does tend to feel longer than the others. This can be attributed to longer days, more sunlight, and more heat. Because it gets brighter […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Does Summer Feem Longer Than Other Seasons?”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 