The Top 5 Animals You Don’t Want To Put Up Your Butt

I got a tramp stamp that says“GERBILS ONLY!” Perhaps you’re familiar with the act of “Gerbiling” which is allowing a gerbil to burrow into your rectum. It’s not something I recommend doing. Gerbils have done nothing to deserve that. You should always look for alternatives to gerbils and that means getting creative. When getting creative […]

Dumbass Sayings: “Sinfully Delicious”

Unless you’re eating off thetree of knowledge, nothingshould be sinfully delicious. When women eat things with chocolate usually they say it’s “Sinfully delicious!” Why is something tasting really good considered sin? Could you imagine if everyone who ate chocolate cake ended up in Hell when they died? I sincerely doubt the dark lord cares who’s […]

The Top 5 World Records You DON’T Want

Not all world recordsare created equal. Everyone at once point in their life has wanted to have a Guinness World Record, but not all world records are created equal. Before you run to a genie and ask it to give you a world record you should read this list before you open the door for […]

Ask McFartnuggets: “Why is Dried Blood So Hard To Clean Up?”

Spilling blood is a hugepain. Dear McFartnuggets: Why is dried blood so hard to clean up? I mean it’s not that bad when it’s freshly spilled, yet when you wait a few minutes it solidifies and makes a huge mess that is so hard to clean up! I don’t have time to clean up all […]

Dumbass Sayings: “Grow A Pair”

How about I growa pair of pears! Sometimes when you find out you’ve fathered another child out of wedlock and your ex-girlfriend wants you to help take care of the kid, before you run away to Bolivia for several decades she’ll say something like “Grow a pair!” What a bizarre command. Grow a pair? A […]

The Top 5 Worst Colors To Paint Your Car

Painting your car is abig decision. When you’ve fallen into a severe depression sometimes getting out is as easy as painting your car. Your car is a reflection of yourself so giving your car a brand new paint job is a great way to revitalize your personality. But before you do, please keep in mind […]

Dumbass Sayings: “Shooting The Shit”

Hitting shit from a bird’sass is the sign of a truemarksman. When you’re talking about clothing or your last vacation with another man they’ll call it “Shooting the shit.” Only men can do this by the way. When was the last time anyone ever “Shot the shit” with a woman. When two women talk to […]

The Top 5 Benefits To Being Constipated

Milk is a great way tobecome constipated. Sometimes you eat too much cheese or chocolate and your internal plumbing gets all gummed up. You become constipated and can’t make a bowel movement. Constipation can be a serious problem if it doesn’t clear up after a few days, but there are some positives to consider. The […]

Shocking Old TV Ads For Drugs, Cigarettes, and Toilet Paper

These days people are very much desensitized to psychotic behaviors and disturbing notions portrayed on television. That being said, these commercials are fairly upsetting even today so you can only imagine how people in the 50’s and 60’s felt when they saw this crap.

Ask McFartnuggets: “What is The Point of Car Alarms?”

Hey car thieves, havesome courtesy and don’ttrip the alarm. It’s annoying. Dear McFartnuggets: Why do cars even have car alarms? Whenever I hear one in the middle of the night I just want it to stop, but it never does. The only time you ever hear a car alarm is when it goes off by […]

Design a site like this with WordPress.com