One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
It’s the year 2014 and despite all the progress society has made in the realm of racial inclusion and understanding there’s still a color out there called “Flesh tone.” There is no ONE tone of flesh. Flesh comes in all sorts of colors. If you go into a Black neighborhood and ask for a flesh […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Flesh Tone”Most people share a lot incommon with parrots. Dear McFartnuggets: How come when someone says something funny in public like “I just made a poopie in my pantaloons” while everyone is laughing one person in the group will say “That mafucka said ‘I just made a poopie in my pantaloons.” Why do people always repeat […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do People Always Repeat Something Funny That They Just Heard?”Our troops are like breasts.Ya gotta support em. Any real American makes a habit of donating things to U.S. troops stationed overseas. The problem is that a great deal of useful items are actually contraband and are not acceptable to be shipped to our heroes. It’s like they made a list of all the things […]
Read More 5 Useful Items You Can’t Donate To Troops OverseasHi, mom. Sometimes when you’re playing pickup basketball with some people from the neighborhood one of them will say “Your mother is an astronaut.” Apparently this is supposed to be an insult I don’t know why. It would be awesome to have a mother who was involved in space travel. Being an astronaut takes incredible […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: "Your Mother is an Astronaut"If you’re going to givea baby a phone at leastgive them an old one first. Dear McFartnuggets: I just had a child who is now three years old. Already he has a lot of friends and they are always talking to each other. Some of my friends’ kids already have iPhones and they’re not even […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "How Young is Too Young to Give a Child a Cell Phone?"After you have sexual intercourse with a woman in a dumpster behind 7-11 sometimes she’ll say “I’m the type of girl you don’t take home to your mom!” No kidding! First of all, why would I take ANY woman I just had a one night stand with home to my mother. “Hey mom. Sorry I […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “The Type of Girl You Don’t Take Home To Your Mom”Giving money to god andyoung Jesus is fine. Nearly every special interest group has a charity these days so it’s important to qualify a charity before you start sending them cash. Some groups really need money like the veterans and starving children, but other can probably manage on their own. Giving your money to the […]
Read More The Top 5 Weirdest Groups or Charities To Give Money ToYou have to teachyour butthole. Dear McFartnuggets: How can I keep from needing to poop at work? I know it sounds like a weird question, but I frequently need to take a poop at work and it’s always a big hassle. It always breaks me away from the task at hand and eats into my […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: "How Can I Keep From Needing to Poop at Work?"Sometimes when a neighbor loses their son or daughter they come knocking on your door and ask you to “Keep an eye out” for their child. Okay look, I want to help find your child almost as much as you do, but I am Damn sure not going to gouge my eyeballs out to do […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: "Keep an Eye Out"“Oh yeah, take it off!” Dear McFartnuggets: Why do I see your comments on every YouTube video I go to? Are you stalking me?! — Gregory from Sausalito, California Yes. I am stalking you. I go to the videos you watch before you do and leave a comment that I’m hoping you will see. That’s […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do I See You Everywhere on YouTube? Are You Stalking Me?”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 