One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Does this look likesuccess to you? Thomas Alva Edison once said, “Success is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration.” If that’s true then how come when I walk up to a lady to ask her out on a date and I’m sweating profusely like I’m about to suffer cardiac arrest in the Amazon rainforest I get […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Success is 10% Inspiration and 90% Perspiration”Ass tumors are no fun. Dear McFartnuggets: I keep my iPhone in the back pocket of my pants and the other day someone at work mentioned I might get an ass tumor from the radiation. Is this possible? — Sally from Richmond, Virginia Dear Sally: Mobile phone radiation has been classified by the INternational Agency […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Can I Get an Ass Tumor From Keeping My Phone in my Back Pocket?”There are many waysto give back. People are always looking for fun new ways to help those less fortunate. Sometimes it can be tough to think of original and inventive ways to help people out. Fortunately I’ve made a list of five things you can try doing for a local hobo in your town. 5. […]
Read More The Top 5 Weird Things You Can Do To Help Homeless PeopleWives used to spreada lot of bullshit information. Dear McFartnuggets: You always hear old wives’ tales that give false information like masturbation makes you go blind, black cats are bad luck, and drinking a lot of alcohol while pregnant will make your baby stupid, but what about new wives’ tales? Where are all the damn […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Aren’t There Any New Wives’ Tales?”That’s pretty tight. When you tell someone to “sleep tight” these days they say “Why? Why should I be tight?” They say this because kids these days use the word “tight” to mean “angry” or “upset.” Why would anyone want to sleep angry? You have to eventually relax and forget about what’s bothering you long […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Sleep Tight”This shit don’t fitin a “hamper.” Dear McFartnuggets: I keep trying to get my boyfriend to put his dirty clothes in a hamper but he always just throws them all over the house like a psycho pig. What is it about men and hampers? Why don’t men even know what a hamper is? — Jillian […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Don’t Men Use Hampers?”Nudity isn’t all funand games. There’s nothing more liberating than the feeling of walking around completely naked in your home. Sadly, life isn’t perfect so there are always obstacles in the way of your achieving true happiness. It wouldn’t be life if there weren’t things ruining everything and even walking around naked is subject to […]
Read More The Top 5 Negatives To Walking Around Your House Naked All The TimeWomen do some amazing things. If you’re looking for a place to hide out for awhile you’ll likely find a lot of shared room listings from people who are “Professional women.” You’ll go to the apartment to check it out and it’s not long before you realize it’s not a brothel. Apparently being a “Professional […]
Read More Dumbass Saying: “Professional Woman”There are right and wrongtimes to be a bat man. Dressing up like Batman is fun whether you’re wearing the full suit or just the cape and cowl. However, you must remember that it is not always appropriate to show up to an event or place dressed as the Dark Knight. While this behavior is […]
Read More The Top 5 Most Inappropriate Places To Dress Up Like BatmanWhen you’re on a date 9 times out of 10 the other person will say “I love trying new things.” Then somehow magically when you ask them if they want to have sex with you they’ll say “Eww, no.” Wait so you love trying new things and my genitals are a new thing to you, […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “I Love Trying New Things”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 