One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Toucan Sam, the cartoon mascot for “Fruit Loops” cereal is famous for saying “Follow your nose.” There are a few things wrong with this saying that I would like to point out. First of all, toucans don’t have noses. That thing on their face is a beak or a bill. Second, Fruit Loops don’t really […]
Read More Dumbass Saying: “Follow Your Nose”Do people with lip plateswash them in thelip SYNC? Everybody loves lip syncing. It’s a fun way to perform without actually doing anything, but things can get weird when you start lip syncing to anything other than music. If you’re a big fan of lip syncing you’ve probably tried lip syncing to other things besides […]
Read More The Top 5 Worst Things To Lip Sync To In PublicAlways wear a shower capto practice safe hairwashing. Dear McFartnuggets: My friends keep raving about shampoo with protein. They say it helps make their hair stronger and more shimmering. Don’t these people realize they’re washing their hair with semen? Most of semen is made up of protein and when you put protein in shampoo, the […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do People Use Shampoo with Protein?”How many commercials do you need to make for toilet paper? Seriously, it’s toilet paper. Everyone knows you need it. Who’s brand loyal when it comes to asswiping material? Try them all and judge for yourself! Don’t take a commercial’s word for it.
Read More Absurd Banned Toilet Paper Commercials From The Sick Days of TVAccidentally getting a beardedlady pregnant is a realFREAK ACCIDENT. When someone crashes their hot air balloon into a power line and it explodes they call that a “Freak accident.” What is the difference between a “freak accident” and an “accident”? Well, to be honest NOTHING. Freak accident is a pointless term that the media uses […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Freak Accident”Matt Damon in “Elysium.” Dear McFartnuggets: In “Elysium” Matt Damon gets accidentally trapped in a room that exposes him to deadly radiation that forces him to fly to Elysium in order to get cured. Almost the second the radiation starts filling the room he’s trapped in the people at the factory get a warning that […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why is the Movie ‘Elysium’ So Stupid?”The last time I saw themthey were at the airport. Sometimes during the nighttime news your TV will say “It’s 10 PM, do you know where your children are?” Well what does the location of my children have to do with the time? You should always know where your children are! It’s not like up […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “It’s 10 PM, Do You Know Where Your Children Are?”Some distance frommother can be good. For some reason there are people out there who think it’s a good idea to add their mother on Facebook. Maybe for them it works out fine, but I’ve found it’s not a great idea and I have a few reasons. These are my top 5 reasons you should […]
Read More The Top 5 Reasons Not To Be Friends With Your Mom On FacebookKnowledge is power. Dear McFartnuggets: Some of my friends have recently pointed out that I, you know, say “You know” way too much when I’m talking. You know? How can I stop saying “You know” before every sentence? — Elijah from New Brunswick, New Jersey Dear Elijah: A lot of people have a problem with […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Can I Stop Saying ‘You Know’ Before Every Sentence?”Ancient Rome believed in children and look how well that turned out. Whitney Houston once said “I believe the children are our future.” Well, the people who were kids when she sang that are now adults trying to run the world and it is awful. These days this saying is no longer true. The children are […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “I Believe The Children Are Our Future”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 