One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
If there’s HIV on your toilet,just scrub it off. Dear McFartnuggets: Can I get HIV from a toilet seat? — Wendy from Vermont Dear Wendy: People are very quick to say you can’t get HIV certain ways, but the fact is there are many ways you can get HIV they’re just “unlikely.” Of course you […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Can You Get HIV From a Toilet Seat?”When someone says “Don’t go their!” and you say “It’s there, not their!” Usually they’re like “I said there!” You say “No, you said their. I heard you pronounce the “i” in their.” Then they say “Wow are you some kind of Grammar Nazi?!” How did this term get so popular? Don’t people realize how […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Grammar Nazi”Nobody would “binge watch”shit on VHS. For some reason it’s cool to tell people you just binge watched every episode of “Game of Thrones” or “Mad Men” but when you tell people you just binge watched ever episode of “Family Ties” they look at you all weird. The only real reason to binge watch a […]
Read More The Top 5 Worst TV Shows To Binge WatchTechnically they havezero American judges. Dear McFartnuggets: “America’s Got Talent” is a show about how people in America have talent. Judges watch their act and decide if it’s good or not. The judges they have right now are Howard Stern, Heidi Klum, Melanie Brown, and Howie Mandel. Howard Stern is the only American in the […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Are Three of the Four ‘America’s Got Talent’ Judges Not American?”Treason usually isn’tworth it. This saying is a defeatist’s favorite slogan. The only thing worse than losing is giving up all your values and assimilating into your enemy. If you can’t beat someone then what about just gracefully accepting defeat and leaving it at that? There’s no reason to be a turncoat. This type of […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “If You Can’t Beat Em, Join Em!”If you’re going to bet,bet on the right sports. One of the most popular pastimes in the world today is sports betting. There isn’t a sport you can’t bet on, but that doesn’t mean they’re all suitable for betting. Some sports for one reason or another are not compatible with wagering large sums of money […]
Read More Top 10 Worst Sports To Bet OnWhen a person wears glasses sometimes people call them “Four eyes.” I’m not sure how this caught on considering how little sense it makes. Corrective lenses aren’t eyeballs. If you saw a man with no eyeballs wearing glasses would you consider him “Two eyes”? No. He’s still a guy with zero eyeballs scaring children at […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Four Eyes”Vomiting at a weddingcan spoil the mood. Dear McFartnuggets: I’m a really nervous person and when I’m super nervous my stomach turns inside out and I always throw up. The problem is I’m getting married this June and I’m really afraid that I’m going to end up throwing up at the altar. What makes matters […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Can I Keep From Vomiting During My Wedding?”Unless you have cancer of thelarynx, you’re not at a lossfor words. Whenever you forgot to lock the door to your office and someone walks in and catches you massaging your nipples they always get all dramatic and say “I’m at a loss for words.” Well for being at such a loss for words you […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “At A Loss For Words”No one likes scoopingdog shit out of their garden. Dear McFartnuggets: My neighbor down the street has a beautiful garden on his front lawn and when I’m walking my dog Benji (a bull terrier) fertilize his lawn with nutrient rich feces and urine this guy comes running out screaming at me. I’m doing this guy […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Does My Neighbor Get Mad When I Let My Dog Fertilize His Lawn?”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 