One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
People think ringtonestell a lot about you.Sometimes ringtone arejust ringtones. When you get a new phone one of the most important things to do is set your ringtone. When you’re picking a ringtone you want to select a sound or song that’s going to communicate to other people how cool you are. Sometimes you might […]
Read More The Top 5 Most Embarrassing RingtonesI’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess you had an accident. Sometimes when I’m on line at Walmart buying binoculars and hand moisturizer the cashier says to me “I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say you’re a peeping tom!” Let me get this straight, you’re going out on a limb? No […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “I’m Gonna Go Out On A Limb Here”E.T. loves tampons. Let’s say somehow you accidentally purchased a bulk surplus of tampons and you can’t possibly use all of them for their intended purpose. Well fortunately for you, tampons are very versatile items that can be utilized in lots of fun and creative ways. Try some of these out for size! 1. Children’s […]
Read More 5 Convenient Alternate Uses For TamponsSometimes you’ll meet someone who’s talking about a cupcake they had earlier in the day. They keep talking about how “divine” the cupcake was and how it changed their life and how it was “Love at first bite.” What the hell is wrong with people these days? It’s a cupcake! I get that cupcakes are […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Love At First Bite”“Squint at me again, bitch!” Dear McFartnuggets: How come when people can’t hear what I’m saying to them they squint? Are these morons really trying to hear with their eyeballs? When they can’t see something do they put their hand around their ear and lean in? What is wrong with these people are they stupid […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do People Squint When They Can’t Hear What I’m Saying”Horniness has nothing to dowith footspeed. Sometimes you’ll run into the same woman over and over again over the course of a week and she keeps saying “Wow this is crazy how we keep running into each other like this!” Then one night you find her peering through your bedroom window with binoculars while licking […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: "I Can Run Faster Horny Than You Can Scared"Everyone knows the human body has 1.6 trillion skin cells and approximately 40,000 fall off every hour. The question is, what can you do with all this wasted skin? Surely it can be put to good use. Here are the top 5 best things to do with old skin flakes that fall off your body: […]
Read More 5 Fun Things To Do With Old Skin Flakes That Fall Off Your BodyOnce you’ve let your memories into your nightmares, it’s too late. Whenever something really horrible happens in your life like you accidentally kill someone with your car, speed away, and never get caught or you’re fondled by a birthday clown, you know the memory of that event will haunt you forever. How do you keep that from […]
Read More How To Avoid Being Emotionally Scarred By Tragic MemoriesHello, ma’am? Dear McFartnuggets: I’m a woman, but because I have a short haircut and don’t dress like a whore sometimes people think I’m a guy. This one man addressed me as a “Sir” the other day and when I looked up he went “Oh sorry I ain’t know you was a woman.” I was […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “What Should I Do When Someone Accidentally Calls Me Sir Instead of Miss?”In the 1993 film “Mrs. Doubtfire” there’s a classic quote where Robin Williams is dressed up like an old Jewish lady and says “I should never buy gribenes from a mohel, it’s so chewy.” Most people didn’t understand the joke, but if you do a little research you find out that “Gribenes” is a Jewish […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “I Should Never Buy Gribenes From A Mohel”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 