One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Those must all beGreek names. If you have a name longer than six syllables usually when someone has to read it outloud they’ll say “I apologize, I’m going to butcher your name…” And then a load of horse crap just comes tumbling out of their mouth that doesn’t sound anything like McFartnuggets at all. It’s […]
Read More Dumbass Saying: “Butchering A Name”Dear McFartnuggets: Sometimes at my job I run into people who might be men who really look like women or women who really look like men. I always feel awkward when addressing thing because I usually call people “Sir” or “Ma’am.” I’ve accidentally called women “Sir” before and they don’t like it at all. What […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Should You Address Someone Who Might Be Man Or Woman?”She loved that damn broom. After a relationship ends it’s not uncommon for both sides to realize they had true love the whole time and want to get back together. There are always signs that people give off, sometimes unconsciously that can let you know there are still feelings in their heart for you. The […]
Read More The Top 5 Ways To Tell Your Ex Still Wants You BackThe hardest part of taking ahostage is saying goodbye. When social services comes to take your children to live with a foster family, your kids will usually start crying, give you a hug and say “I hate goodbyes.” To me this seems like a silly thing to say. Who likes goodbyes? You may as well […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “I Hate Goodbyes”Dear McFartnuggets: I’ve started seeing a physical therapist, at night, to help me “relax” and I was wondering how much I should tip her. I mean, what’s appropriate to tip someone like that? It’s already 50 bucks for a “pelvic massage” I don’t want to break the bank here, but I also want to let […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Much Should I Tip My Nocturnal Physical Therapist?”Sometimes people say really stupid shit like “I wouldn’t change it for the world” when they’re talking about a decision to take some time off work or something. Usually this is a saying people use when they’re secretly regretting something and want to make it seem like they don’t regret anything. They’ll say something like […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “I Wouldn’t Change It For The World”There’s grandpa playing withhis stepson/grandson! Dear McFartnuggets: Let’s say by some horrible accident they made a mix up at the sperm bank and your grandmother who wanted to artificially inseminate herself was given your sperm. If she got pregnant and gave birth would she give birth to a new parent who is also your child? […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “If You Got Your Grandmother Pregnant Would She Give Birth To Your New Parent?”Usually having a good name is the first step to creating a successful business. Yet there are always exceptions to this rule. Some companies have managed to have great success with horrible names. Here are the top 5 worst named companies that are somehow still in business: 5. Moody’s Corporation Moody’s is a credit rating […]
Read More The Top 5 Worst Named Companies Currently In BusinessI had this really old lady come up to me the other day and say “What’s new, sugar laddy? You want a seasoned lady with experience to show you around the boulevard? You know 70 is the new 20…” Okay first of all this is why I don’t like to visit my grandparents in the […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “70 Is The New 20”Dressing like a woman is fun whenyou’re young, but it gets prettysad as you become older. Dear McFartnuggets: They’ve announced a sequel to “Mrs. Doubtfire.” Do you think this is good news? What would you like to see in “Mrs. Doubtfire 2” — Charlie from Tennessee Dear Charlie: Everyone knows I’m a huge fan of […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Should Mrs. Doubtfire Get A Sequel?”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 