One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
OUCH! THAT’S MY EYE! When you’re at Dave & Busters eating chicken wings and you accidentally spill beer on a woman sometimes her husband will stand up and say “You wanna go? Okay, punk! BRING IT! BRING IT!” Excuse me? Bring it? Bring what? A bag of orange slices? Spinach dip? A bottle of wine? […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Bring It!”Millions of people wished deathon Hitler and eventually it happened.A little late though. Dear McFartnuggets: How come it’s bad to wish death on people? It never works. I wish death on dozens of people every month at work and they’re perfectly fine. In fact, my entire life no one I’ve ever hoped would die actually […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Is Wishing Death On People Considered Bad?”Life isn’t a race because Idon’t see race. And I see life.So how can life be race? A lot of people these days like to think that life is a race. You’ve seen these people on the highways driving to work going 90 MPH. Some people are always in a hurry because they think life […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Life is a Race”RIP Sir Lancelot #NoMoreDogTreats Dear McFartnuggets: Why is it such a popular trend these days to tweet out “Rest in peace” to celebrities who die? Even if dead people could read Twitter, they probably weren’t even following you to begin with so when they scroll through their timeline they’re only going to see tweets from […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do People Tweet ‘RIP’ After Someone Dies?”New dangers are always being createdand we forget about the old ones. The news has a way of sensationalizing threats in order to create fear and keep people glued to the 24 hour news cycle titty. One of the side effects to that is they will completely stop talking about a threat as soon as […]
Read More The Top 5 Global Dangers That Everyone Just Forgot AboutHow about instead of giving failingstudents an F you give them aslice of Domino’s instead. Domino’s Pizza’s has crossed the line with their new slogan “Failure IS an option.” I think we’ve all had enough of these self deprecating commercials. Every commercial they do features a corporate leader saying “We’ve had so many things go wrong […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Failure IS An Option”Am I the only one who dreams aboutbeing naked with pizza dough on my face? We’ve all had that dream where we show up to work naked. In the dream everyone is staring at us and we’re really scared and want to run away. Then we bend over and shoot fire out of our ass […]
Read More Classic Dream Interpretations: The Naked DreamDid Dr. Jhave a fear of apples?Probably not. This is a saying we’ve all heard growing up and we just accept it as true. Then we grow up and realize that apples aren’t particularly healthy. They’re not bad for you, but it’s not like they’re some kind of wonderfruit. This saying was clearly created by […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “An Apple A Day Keeps The Doctor Away”The answer might be rightunder your asshole. Dear McFartnuggets: While I was just laying in bed relaxing, twirling my ass hair around on my finger the other day I got to thinking “What is the evolutionary purpose for ass hair?” Why do we even have it? It’s more of a nuisance than anything. Most of […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “What is the Evolutionary Purpose of Ass Hair?”Only one person appreciatesbeing called “Boss.” There’s a certain type of guy who goes around calling people “Boss” all the time. It’s almost always a man, I don’t think women do this, which goes to show how dumb it is. Women know better than to go around ironically calling people with crappy jobs “Boss.” It’s […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Boss”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 