One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Just because Bob at work droolsto show he likes you doesn’t mean cats do the same thing. Dear McFartnuggets: My cat drools a lot, does that mean she loves me? I heard people say cats don’t show real emotion they just trick us into thinking they love us so we give them food. Is my cat […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “When My Cat Drools Does That Mean She Loves Me?Only alcoholics “climb” up stairs. Somehow the act of walking up stairs was dubbed “Stair climbing.” That’s the official term for moving up stairs with your feet. Everyone who’s walked up stairs before knows that’s not an accurate term. When you’re walking upright up a staircase that’s not “Climbing.” When you’re drunk at the mall […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Stair Climbing”There’s literally no reason not to singalong to an instrumental rendition. Dear McFartnuggets: Why is it in America whenever they bring a singer to perform “The Star Spangled Banner” before a sporting event, the people in the crowd and athletes lip sync along to the words. Why don’t they sing along? Why do they just […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do People Lip Sync To The National Anthem At Sports Events?”This commercial was never meant to be seen. It was filmed in the 60’s and then left on the cutting room floor. Pampers was experimenting with how to sell their new custom fit line that could be worn by adults so they wanted to display why adults might need to wear diapers. Sadly, that man’s […]
Read More Previously Unreleased Live Commercial From The 60’sNot everything is best whenhomemade by grandma. Likehouses made of candy. People always make a big fuss over “homemade” items. Whether it’s homemade lemonade or homemade laundry detergent, everyone loves homemade products. These days you’re not hip unless you make your own salad dressing from scratch at home. Well some things aren’t better homemade. Somethings […]
Read More The Top 5 Things That Are NOT Better When “Homemade”Just make sure a hairy greendwarf isn’t perched on yourbelly and you’re good. Dear McFartnuggets: I’ve always been told that people need eight hours of sleep a night. I’ve also read that human beings sleep in 90 minute sleep cycles. So if we sleep in 1 and a half hour cycles, why do we need eight […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do Humans Need 8 Hours Of Sleep A Night?If you listen close you can hearthe echo of this guy being killedby a lion. General Maximus from “Gladiator” once said “What we do in life echoes in eternity.” That sounds nice especially if you’re about to go into battle to die, but what does that even mean? Does that mean everything you do echoes […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “What We Do In Life Echoes In Eternity”If your tongue is in the dog’smouth you’ve gone too far. Dear McFartnuggets: I saw a woman today in the park kissing her dog like French kissing her dog right in the mouth. How can people do this? They walk their dog around and the dog just sniffing and sticking it’s nose and mouth into […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Do People Kiss Their Dogs?”This is an illustration of the before and after effects of Alzheimer’s Disease on a human brain: Before: After: Has anyone else noticed how a brain damaged by Alzheimer’s Disease looks like a scary demon face? What’s weird is that the brain starts off looking like the inner workings of a vagina with the Fallopian […]
Read More The Creepiest Thing About Alzheimer’s DiseaseAs long as they’re not aroundMike Vick or Sarah McLachlan,dogs live pretty great lives. Humans like to make believe that we have it better than dogs. We supplicate them to do our bidding in exchange for rubdowns and food. We think they’re the ones who dream to be us when truthfully it is we who should […]
Read More The Top 5 Ways Dogs Have Better Lives Than Humans
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 