One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
Would someone “cool” usethese to get to work? Dear McFartnuggets: Are rollerblades cool or not? Whenever I see someone with them on I think “Oh, that’s cool,” but then I watch for awhile and think “No, wait nevermind.” — Iris from Chappaquiddick, Massachusetts Dear Iris: Inline skates are one of the more interesting human transportation […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Are Rollerblades Cool or Not?”Try not to bring kids if you canhelp it. When you find yourself in a public shower situation it’s important to remember you’re not in your shower at home. That means you may have to modify some of your “normal” showertime behaviors in order to avoid an awkward naked situation around a bunch of strangers. […]
Read More The Top 5 Things You Should Never Do In A Public ShowerWhen you get to a certain agethe only people you can standare dogs. Dear McFartnuggets: My grandpa has been suffering from Alzheimer’s for five years now and has lost most of his speech. He never responds to anyone in our family when we visit and try to talk to him. The weird thing is we […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Does My Grandpa With Alzheimer’s Only Talk To His Dog?It’s very easy to OD on bullets. Kids on the street these days like using the term “OD” to mean “Overdoing” like “Yo, holmes. My mom is going OD on the fish stick casserole tonight!” This is all well and good except that “OD” is a medical term meaning “Overdose” and while that’s almost the […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings “OD”It’s easier for women to urinatepublicly since they can be theirown lookout. Dear McFartnuggets: I got arrested for public urination last weekend. I don’t even understand why it’s illegal though. Urination is natural. It’s what happens when you drink a lot. What do people expect me to do? I don’t see how its’ a crime! […]
Read More Ask Mcfartnuggets: “Why is Public Urination Illegal?”Cracking up isn’t all it’scracked up to be. Laughing is one of the best things to do in life. It’s what everyone wants to be doing. If you could laugh 24 hours a day without being locked in a mental hospital you would. However, there are certain times when you don’t want to laugh and […]
Read More The Top 5 Worst Things To Have In Your Mouth While LaughingLincoln was an honest guy.A lot of good that did him! Sometimes people get confused and use the saying “God to honest truth” when they really mean “God’s honest truth” or “Honest to God truth.” “God to honest truth” doesn’t make any sense. What is that? That sounds like God is having a walkie talkie […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “God To Honest Truth”Sandblasting jeans can be dangerousalways wear a bandana over your mouth. Dear McFartnuggets: I was going clothes shopping and couldn’t find a single pair of jeans without holes ripped in them. I asked the lady and she said it’s fashionable. Why are holes in jeans fashionable? — Nigel from Tempe, Arizona Dear Nigel: I think […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Are Holes In Jeans Considered Fashionable?”Do you know how hard it is to digest denim? Sometimes when you’re at the county fair with your family, your grandfather will turn to everyone after the roller coaster ride ends and say “I just crapped my pants.” Really? You just crapped your pants? I sincerely doubt that, Pop pop! Because in order for you to […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “I Just Crapped My Pants”You could land among the starsOR you could explode. Sometimes people tell you “Shoot for the moon because even if you miss you’ll land among the stars.” This is meant to be an inspirational quote, but it’s very far off-base and has no real root in reality. Here are the major things wrong with this […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Shoot For The Moon, Even If You Miss You’ll Land Among The Stars”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 