One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
You don’t want to gamblewith breakfast. Dear McFartnuggets: Why is breakfast become the most important meal of the day? Who decided this? How is it the most important? Why is breakfast so arrogant?– Nathaniel from Glendale Falls Dear Nathaniel: Breakfast really is the most important meal of the day and the reason is quite obvious. […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Is Breakfast The Most Important Meal of The Day?”Sometimes they put fingersin themselves. There’s a popular saying that sometimes when you’re all out of options all you can do is “Put your finger in a dyke and pray.” First of all, they’re called “Lesbian Americans” let’s get that straight right off the bat, well not straight, but you know what I mean. Second, […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Put Your Finger In A Dyke And Pray”At least they’re not singingin the dead of night. Dear McFartnuggets: There is a dang bird outside my window that keeps chirping and singing away at all hours of the day and it’s driving me loco en la cabeza! I tried to go out and kill it, but it’s too damn small to catch or […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Can I Get This Bird To Stop Making Noise Outside My Window?”If you’re in a vehicle where a flockof geese can kill you, that’s not safe. Whenever you’re freaking out on an airplane while it’s getting ready to take off people love to tell you “Ya know, statistically speaking, flying is WAY safer than driving.” Okay… That really doesn’t help me. All you’re doing is saying […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Flying Is Statistically Safer Than Driving”Drunkenly playing with yourtitties is NOT a weakness. In virtually every job interview the interviewer will think they’re slick by asking you what your biggest weakness is. Most people are so busy trying to make themselves look good by bragging that it catches them off guard. Their answer to this question will usually weight heavily […]
Read More The Top 5 Job Interview Answers To The Question “What Is Your Greatest Weakness?”I suppose we should ignorethe archers too! When you’re at a birthday party for someone who has giant herpes blisters all over their lips and no one wants to talk about it, people call that “The elephant in the room.” When something is the “Elephant in the room” it’s incredibly obvious yet too awkward to […]
Read More Dumbass Saying: “The Elephant in the Room”Here’s a little trickto keep people from treatingyour face like a cup of hot water. Dear McFartnuggets: I live with three roommates and they’re all guys whose main goal in life seems to be pulling pranks. One of their favorite pranks is to wait til I fall asleep and then put their testicles on my […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “How Can I Get My Roommates To Stop Teabagging Me In My Sleep?”Dinner is served! Vegans and vegetarians have this saying “I don’t eat anything with a face” and it’s nice, but it doesn’t totally make sense. You can just say “I don’t eat animals”, but choosing to say you don’t eat anything with a face is an interesting decision. Technically if you were to abide by […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “I Don’t Eat Anything With A Face”It’s okay little buddy! You can’t gethuman cold sores! Dear McFartnuggets: Can a human transmit Herpes to a dog? Asking for my dog. — Shawn from Portugal Dear Shawn: It is my understanding that you cannot transmit human herpes to a dog so I guess that’s good news? Look, I’m not here to judge you, […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is It Possible For A Human To Transmit Herpes To A Dog?”True insanity is a little more complicated than that. Albert Einstein was quoted as saying “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.” Einstein was a smart man, but this was definitely not his smartest quote. That is NOT the definition of insanity. You know how I know? Because if I go […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “The Definition of Insanity is Doing The Same Thing Expecting Different Results”
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 