One day every thing that can ever be written or thought (no matter how fucking stupid or ridiculous) will be written or thought. Only then will humanity be complete and we can all die in peace. This is my contribution.
An adult owl is smarterthan your average humanthese days. People back in olde times used to use words like “Harebrained” and “Birdbrained” to describe foolish people instead of current favorites like the R-word or “shit for brains.” Turns out, birds are actually some of the smartest animals around. Scientists have studied birds and shown that […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Birdbrained”Nothing’s more horrifying thanwhen those poop pipes clog up. If you’ve been really busy and forgot to take a poop in four or more days then you’ll likely end up taking a massive dump eventually. You’ll know it’s a massive dump because they’re the type of dump that can change the complexion of your entire […]
Read More 3 Easy Things You Can Do To Keep Your Toilet From Clogging During A Massive DumpSharing is one of the reasonsbed bugs still plague humanity. When we’re children we’re told that “Sharing is caring” then we grow up and find out what Herpes and HIV are. Sharing is great for kids to do, but when you’re an adult it becomes less of a good thing. For instance, if you share […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Sharing Is Caring”If a blind man is reading thepimples on your ass like Braillethen that’s a problem. Dear McFartnuggets: There’s this blind guy at work who touches my ass everyday. At first I thought he was sexually harrassing me, but then I realized that because he’s blind that’s how he sees. I’m a firm believer in the […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “Is It Illegal For A Blind Man To Touch My Ass Without Consent?”At least you can wear sillycloths on your head. They say it’s called “Jury Doody” because when you get selected all you can say is “Shit happens.” It’s not a fun process. They say you’re “Serving your country”, but let’s be honest here. Comparing you sitting in a courtroom daydreaming about riding a magical narwhal through […]
Read More The Top 5 BEST Ways To Get Out of Jury DutyIf you’re going to be thrown undera bus, make sure it’s a fun one soyour death is somewhat comical. When you’re part of a team and you blame a teammate for your failures so they take all the blame that’s called “Throwing them under the bus.” Where did this saying come from? Why are you […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Thrown Under The Bus”The sky is the limit!Once you get there you haveto deal with Jupiter and othersky deities. When you start your own meth lab and you begin seeing that money roll in, sometimes your grandmother will turn to you and say “The sky’s the limit!” This is supposed to mean that there are no limits. Unfortunately, […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “The Sky’s The Limit!”Remember, just becausesomeone’s eyes are lazydoesn’t mean their brain is. Dear McFartnuggets: I met someone today who had two lazy eyes and I didn’t know how to look them in the eyes. I’ve known people with one lazy eye before and that’s a lot easier because you can just focus on the one good eye […]
Read More Ask McFartnuggets: “When Someone Has Two Lazy Eyes Which One Do You Make Eye Contact With?”Please don’t counterfeit money. When you ask someone famous for advice on how to be successful sometimes they say “Fake it til you make it.” What the hell is that supposed to mean? So if my dream is to be a police officer I should impersonate a cop? Umm, last time I was arrested they […]
Read More Dumbass Sayings: “Fake It Til You Make It”When you’re desperate for workthere are some jobs that are alwayslooking for more people. These days jobs are getting harder and harder to find which means you want to look to get into industries where there’s a high turnover. High turnover means higher likelihood for vacancies. In today’s world, just getting your foot in the […]
Read More The Top 5 Jobs With Very High Turnover Rates
McFartnuggets' Dune of Derangement 